(Closed) Registry Question

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do you ever feel guilty about the number of items and cost of them on your registries?
    No, I think it's my one chance to be lavished in gifts. : (24 votes)
    37 %
    Yes, I know people are struggling and don't want to add pressure to their lives. : (24 votes)
    37 %
    Never really thought about it...,just registered and moved on. : (17 votes)
    26 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I think as long as you have a lot of variety in price ranges, you are okay. People won’t feel pressured to spend more if you have a lot of selection in their range. Also keep in mind that expensive gifts are usually given by groups or close family members, so its usually not too much.

    Post # 4
    Member
    96 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I think it all depends on your friends and family’s financial situations. Most people attending my shower/wedding are middle class. I am not registering for very cheap things (under $20) because I know people will spend more than that. However, even though I would love a Dyson vacuum, I am not registering for that either because it is way above what I expect anyone to spend on my shower gift (in addition to wedding present). There are a few pricey things on my registry (over $100), only because I know they go on sale once in a while and that is when I hope people would buy them. I think you should just have a good selection of prices on your registry, and this will give people a chance to spend what they can. Who knows, maybe someone will hit the lotto and buy you a Dyson!

    Post # 5
    Member
    3175 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I do feel guilty asking people for things in general, but our registry is relatively small (80 items) & there are only one or two items over $100. Most things are in the $20-40 range, so that makes me feel a little bit better.

    Post # 6
    Member
    679 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    No I don’t feel guilty.  We made sure our items are things we need and will use.  And we put items from all price ranges.  Also, although we would love to get the items that are on our registry, we created the registry to help people who would want to offer a gift.  No one has to pick out of the registry; it’s just a tool we’re using to help out our guests/family.

    As a guest, I love when the couple has a big registry, it really helps in choosing a gift (that I can afford) and that they will enjoy.

    Post # 7
    Member
    660 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We put a Dyson vaccuum too and a big Samsung edgeless TV on our registries knowing that it’s a long shot that we will get either one, but all people can do is say “No” or just laugh because they know our character. It’s a wish list for a reason, the things you “wish for”. :). If you get those items, great! If not, then it’s ok :). Don’t feel bad. We also put some cheap stuff on ours as well.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1361 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I do feel bad about some of the things I’ve asked for (expensive cookware, dyson vacuum, le creuset everything), but I don’t expect people to buy all those things for me.  We also have tons of stuff that’s a lower pricepoint that we want just as much, so I try not to worry about it.  We did downgrade some of what we asked for when we realized how expensive some things are (we took off the $130 stainless steel Simple Human trash can and replaced it with a $30 plastic Simple Human trash can… still seems like a lot to me for something you through trash into).

    Post # 9
    Member
    19 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    As others have said, it’s good to have a wide range of items and prices. I’ve seen it recommended by stores to register for gifts that equal 2x the amount of your guests so if you have 100 guests, you should register for 200 different items to have enough for showers and the wedding.

    I’ve actually run into problems with friends who are getting married and don’t have many items on their registries. I went shopping a few weeks ago for a friend’s shower and my local store only had 3 of maybe 50 items they registered for and most of the items also weren’t available online.

    We registered in multiple places for all price ranges – also with the idea in mind that most stores offer 10-15% off when the bride and groom purchase items from the registry after the wedding is over. So you can save some money on items you really want, but your guests didn’t buy.

    Post # 10
    Member
    150 posts
    Blushing bee

    keep in mind that most places will give you a discount on things that were on your registry that you didn’t recieve. so don’t feel too bad about putting a dyson or something on there, because, as others have said, as long as there is a range in prices nobody will think badly of you. even if you KNOW nobody will spend the money on a dyson or a kitchen-aid mixer for you, put it on your registry anyhow so you can get a discount on it later 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    544 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    We put a few pricier (>$300) things on our registry exactly because of the reason stated above — we can get 20% off of them after the wedding and the things on our list aren’t offered for discount under the standard store coupon. I let my mom know that’s what they were there for in case she hears any rumblings; I don’t actually expect anyone to purchase them for us.   Most of our list is in the $20-$50 range.  I felt guilty registering so I was very conscious about what we scanned (i.e. $199 pots and pans instead of $499 set the lady tried to sell us on).

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    65 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’ve looked at other people’s registries before and thought ‘$200 sheets, $60 pillowcases?!’ As long as your high value things are practical, and not extravagant for your lifestyle I don’t see it being a problem. You never know when a group of people will want to get a gift like a Dyson. We put ~$1000 patio set on our registry, and I’ve heard rumors that FI’s aunts are chipping in for the shower/wedding.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3375 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    i actually felt pretty guilty…. I hated putting cheaper things on my registry though when I really wanted the more expensive stuff. It was a personal struggle that I had.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1375 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I don’t know if it is guilt, but I’ve definitely felt weird about putting higher priced items on our registry.  I’ve let my Fiance choose a lot of the kitchenware stuff since he’s the main cook, and it amazes me that things like knives can be so expensive if you want good ones.

    That being said, I’m staying reasonable in the everyday dishes and cups realm – just getting cute patterns and designs that I like and are in a range that I might consider purchasing for someone else.

    As PPs mentioned, as long as you have a good amount of pieces in lots of different price ranges, you should be fine.  This is the one time that people REALLY want to buy you nice things, so be sure you have those nice things on there!

    Post # 15
    Member
    9550 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Ask for anything you want. I often go in as a group and buy large, expensive wedding presents. When everybody kicks in $20-$50 it adds up quick. Putting something on the registry doesn’t mean you expect it to be bought. It’s a suggestion. My best friend put, not 1 but 2, $500 Tiffany lamps on her registry and when I saw it I called her and we laughed that she was being over the top, but guess what? She is now the proud owner of a beautiful Tiffany lamp. Bottom line. Make sure there’s plenty of cheap stuff and put in whatever else you want.

    Post # 16
    Member
    4193 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    No, and as long as you have a range, it’s fine. If my Aunt is able to come to the wedding, I know she will only able to afford something small, like $15, and that’s fine. But we also have a $300 item on the registry- people can chip in for larger gifts (friends have bought flat screens together). People like to have choices in what they buy-I’m not expecting everything on our registry to be purchased. Plus- that registry completion program, like others mentioned, is a nice bonus.

    The topic ‘Registry Question’ is closed to new replies.

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