(Closed) Registry Tension? Living together, established couple…

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

My husband and I were the same way.  Honestly, we didn’t register for a lot of stuff because we knew that we might be moving a few times coming up and didn’t want to have more things to move.  Do you really need a lot of that stuff or do you think that getting gift cards or cash might suit you better because then you can get the fill in things and other things that aren’t as glamourous (we spent our Target gift cards on food mostly).

Post # 5
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

we had the same argument, so i backed down and let him choose everything. then i went through the list, explained to him why i didn’t think that a wine cooler/ANOTHER salt and pepper grinder/salt pig was not necessary, and deleted. saved a lot of drama 🙂

Post # 6
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

why don’t you all just take a walk through the store and talk about items as they catch your eye? just an idea…

Post # 7
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

What kind of things does he want to add?  As you live together, focus on what you need.  Make sure to bring this up to him.  For example:  Gee Whiz, I am cutting up all these veggies for a veggie tray, it sure would be nice to have a pretty tray to display them on, maybe we can register for one”.  Lame I know but you get the point.  We really found that when we really focused on all the things we needed you start to see a lot!

Post # 8
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

We’re kind of going through some tension right now – we desperately need to upgrade some of our pots and pans, as we’ve been sharing an apartment with another couple, but will be moving out this summer into our own place (yay!) – so, we’re both very kitchen-oriented and love cooking, which means crappy cookware is out of the question. He wants to buy a so-so Cuisinart 10 piece set from Amazon, I want to invest in a few single pieces that we’d use the most from Le Creuset, CIA, etc from Ebay or Amazon. 

Every time we go to buy something home-related now we think, “wait, how will this affect the registry?” which sounds ridiculous, but as college students, every dollar counts! We already have a lot of the traditional registry items, so at this point we’re hesitant to buy too much, and we’re really struggling stock up the new apartment without completing our own registry. 

Post # 9
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

we’re totally in the same boat. we moved into our house last august and Future Mother-In-Law has already stocked our entire kitchen/house with all of the essentials.

so we went through and listed all of the essential things (few) that we are missing… after that we went through and listed stuff that we want to upgrade…

and then we’re at a point now, where we need to add just a few “we want this for no reason” things so that guests have more options.

we’ve done all of our registry online, so one of these days we’re gonna go in and pick stuff out that both of us want

Post # 10
Member
2821 posts
Sugar bee

Maybe try to do an online one, where you can choose from different stores.  That’s the only way we were really considering going since we already had a lot of house ‘stuff’ and I just couldn’t make myself register for stuff that we had perfectly good ones already.  But I was spending so much time looking online for stuff and I’m so indecisive that we didn’t end up registering, it was just stressing me out toooo much.  We got mainly cash, some gifts, but only took two things back so it worked out well for us not to register.

Post # 11
Member
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We needed new stuff.  We have been living together for three years, but it was mostly my stuff, and it was all cheap stuff bought in college.  The plates are old and chipped, the pots and pans are gross… we needed new stuff.  BUT not everything.

You will find LISTS all over the internet saying what you “should” register for.  We started with those & crossed out everything we didn’t need.  Then we started thinking about other things we would like.. artwork for the walls, a new duvet cover, camping gear.. and we added that stuff.

We found it all at stores, but I do believe that you can register at Amazon.com – which allows your list to be ALL over the place.  that way you aren’t stuck with a bunch of lists from a bunch of stores, or just a list of things you want on a piece of paper. 

Hope this helps!

Post # 12
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

We’ve been living together for almost a year and we both lived alone before that. We’re upgrading some of the things we already have (toaster, microwave, etc) and getting rid of the old stuff. We did register for everyday dishes, etc. because the new ones will be “ours” as opposed to his dishes, my glasses, etc.

Sept’s not that far off — can you use the stuff you have for now & wait for some of the kitchen things that you want?

Post # 13
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

There are alternatives to traditional registries. LL Bean, for example, I think ha a registry (camping, kayaks, etc). You could look around for alternative options…based on hobbies, personal interests

It doesn’t have to be towels and plates.

Post # 15
Member
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Um, Fiance got no say in the registry and we are both happier that way.  He knows I am the one who does the cooking and cleaning and since I am the lady of the house, so to speak, the registry is my domain.

Post # 16
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

If you’re doing a remodel – are there any tools that you need?  You could have him be in charge of a Home Depot or Sears registry?

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