Post # 1
So, invites are sealed and ready to go, and I’m feeling really guilty about them. I wasn’t too hot about registries included in the invites, but my mother insisted I do it. I finaly said fine and thought nothing of it. Now, especially after reading around the Internet that this is NEVER appropriate, I feel sick. My fiancé thinks I’m overreacting and worrying too much, but I don’t want anyone to feel like they have to bring a gift. It is his first wedding, but my second…which makes me even worry more about it. :/
This whole thing is quite informal….wedding will be small and intermediate family only (like 10 ppl), so most people are getting reception invites with a smaller separate map sheet (registry info is listed below the map).
Pease help with opinions (nicely)! Should I go ahead and send them out? My other option would be to order more envelopes, redo the maps and re-address everything, and buy more stamps. :/. What do you guys think? I do have a tendency to worry too much, but this seems to be a big no-no I overlooked. 🙁
Post # 3
Its fine, it really is. I get invites all the time with this info in them and I appreciate it.
And I sent out my invites with them too. I have never gotten an invite without this info. Dont feel guilty. Trust me, there are way more important things to worry about.
And if anyone gets offended, dont worry. I have learned that you cannot please everyone in all your decisions concerning your wedding!
Post # 4
Yes, go ahead and send them out. I didn’t put mine on my invitation, but I hate it when I dont know where a couple is registered. People will appreciate that youre not hiding the ball. Also, since its just your close family, do you think they would really feel offended?
But if you are really worried, you can always print new ones. You only need 10, right?
Post # 5
@Nessa489: Send them out. I was just b*tching to my SO about how The Hive always says this is totally inappropriate but neither of us have ever received an invitation that DIDN’T have registry information in it and I’m in my 30s and he’s in his 40s so we’ve been invited to a LOT of weddings.
Post # 6
Don’t worry about it. You put a little note on the bottom of the map. No one will be offended. They will be happy to know where your registry is. Its not like you are asking for money or gifts. You are simply pointing people who want to buy gifts in the right direction. 🙂
Post # 7
Send them! Don’t do all the extra work to not offend people who more than likely won’t be offended. I personally didn’t put mine on there, but kinda wish I did because I get at least 2 people a week asking me where I’m registered. I promise – it’s not a big deal!
Post # 8
Oh my, thank you all for the responses! Feeling much better now. I think I need to stop believing everything I read on the internet. 🙂
Honestly, when I really think about it, I dont think anyone will be offended…but a few friends might say its tacky. And even though I don’t expect gifts, I’m sure people will do it anyway. Earlybird you’re right, there are more important things to worry about anyway! And people HAVE already been asking about where we are registered anyway.
Okay, not so sick anymore….maybe I can finally sleep. :). Think I just needed a little reassurance. Thanks sooo much guys, appreciate it!
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia
It’s not a big deal! I am glad a girlfriend put it on hers; she got the ice-cream maker she had always wanted. 🙂
Post # 10
It is not that bad! Don’t worry too much about it. Every invite I have ever seen in the last 10 years (it might be different here in NZ) have included registry information on a card included with the invitation.
Post # 11
It really depends on your area.
In some areas it is acceptable, and in others unforgivable. This is over dictated by social class, as well as geography.
I would never live it down if I sent out registry info, but others think it’s fine. You should go by what’s common with your group.
But do so knowing that it definitely is agaisnt polite customs to do so.
Post # 12
@Nessa489: It is definitely a faux paux. If you’re only sending out 10 invitations, then I say redo them and take the registry info out. However, if you’re inviting family and you feel reasonably certain they won’t be offended, then you can choose to risk it BUT I say you only do this if you can be comfortable with that decision. If you’re going to cringe inwardly every time yout hink about them now and in the future, I say its worth it to spend the time and effort and expense to redo them so you can feel good about them.
Post # 13
@mrswestcoast: A couple not including the registry information is not “hiding the ball.” They’re being polite, and gracious. Its really just so not hard to find out where a couple is registered.
Personally? I cringe when the little registry cards fall out of the envelope. It makes me feel like what the couple really wants is a gift – not for me to celebrate their wedding day with them.
Post # 14
I’m going to be honest with you so you can make an informed decision – I do judge a little bit when I get a registry card in the wedding invitation. I think it’s really tacky, as do most people in my social circle.
BUT – different social circles have different expectations. If your mom pushed you that much, maybe it is normal in yours?
Post # 15
I personally would send them, with only 10 people I’d just re-print them. I’m not big on caring about all the etiquette rules, but I’ve never received a wedding invite with registry information included, that too me seems pretty gift grabby.
However, you know your guests best.. If you don’t think they will care, done worry about it.
Post # 16
- Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC
Every invitation ive ever got has received that little card. And not even nicely printed th ones that the stores give you. That said, if it was so no no no, the stores wouldnt do it. I put my website information with a link to the registry on the website. However I am going to regret it, I dont think anybody in our circe is going to be bothered to check the registry and were going to get a load of plates like his mum and step-mum did. I would rather have offended some people and got what I wanted