(Closed) Registry with no wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Is it appropriate to set up a large gift registry when you do not have any wedding guests?
    No, it looks very gift-grabby. You shouldn't expect any gifts if you're not hosting anything. : (72 votes)
    74 %
    It's not tacky, but it's kind of weird. Why make a registry of gifts you won't get? : (10 votes)
    10 %
    A registry is fine, but they should have just one registry or way fewer items. : (5 votes)
    5 %
    It's a good idea. You never know if people might want to get you gifts. : (7 votes)
    7 %
    Other (Explain in comments) : (3 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 2
    6799 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    There’s always that generous person who wants to get you a gift no matter what, so good to be prepared.  And I guess taking advantage of a 10% discount is nice as well.  That’s what they’re doing really, IMO, is getting themselves a discount on their wants.  Personally if I were doing a ‘just in case’ registry, there would be about 10 low-cost items on it and that’s it.  But my own wedding registry, to which we invited about 60 people, had less than 30 registry items, so what do I know? haha.

    The only way I’d roll my eyes would be if they shared it with everyone, regardless of being asked to do so, but if they’re keeping it quiet, then it’s just a weird, almost pointless thing to do, so meh.

    Post # 3
    4490 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    No. I wouldn’t set up a registry when I wasn’t having a wedding. If people want to get something, let them send cash or gift cards, or come up with something and I can return it if need be. Setting up a registry is too presumptuous for me.

    Post # 4
    914 posts
    Busy bee

    I would side-eye this hardcore. Seems extremely, exceptionally gift grabby.

    Post # 5
    1569 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    View original reply
    HappyTappyBee:  Vaguely related story: My Fiance has a very google-able name, as in there is literally only one of him in the world. So, when we first started dating, I googled him and came across a wedding registry. I was kinda pissed. Like, wtf how did you not mention that you were engaged before?! So I brought it up to him and he was so confused. I pulled it up on the computer and it was a registry his Girlfriend (at the time) had made years ago, but that he is still tied to. I guess what I’m saying is, at least your friend is actually getting married when she created her wedding registry.


    FWIW, I wouldn’t register if I wasn’t having a wedding and I absolutely wouldn’t be registering for $1500 items.

    Post # 6
    3422 posts
    Sugar bee

    A gift registry in that context? No.

    Post # 7
    14090 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think it’s gift grabby.  I would think of giving a gift before seeing it; if I found it before I sent the gift, I’d reconsider and send a card with well wishes.

    Post # 8
    533 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    We are having a very small immediate families only wedding (10 guests) and we aren’t registering. To me, it seems gift grabby when you aren’t going to have lots of guests. 

    Post # 9
    371 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2017

    View original reply
    HappyTappyBee:  I understand the discount thing; however, I think it comes across as greedy and presumptuous (If that’s what you mean my gift-grabby). My bigger question is this: the couple aren’t supposed to tell people (or more clearly, people arent supposed to ask the couple)  where they are registered in ‘normal’ weddings and the guests are encouraged/expected to contact the families and/or bridal parties of the couple who then give out that info. 

    With no bridal party, the expectation is that the couple would be the only ones with this info, so it seems like it would be super awkward. If a handful of people are giving gifts, they’re probably close to/part of the family, so they could just ask mom and dad. That’s the only way I feel like it’s acceptable. 

    Post # 10
    1832 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I could see a small handful of items (not big expensive ones) so that if someone searched, they would find a minimal registry.  I think what she is doing now is in incredibly poor taste.  You don’t skip wedding guests and then put 1500.00 gifts on a registr.

    Post # 11
    7599 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014


    Post # 12
    9437 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    View original reply
    HappyTappyBee:  I totally understand that they want the discount, but I would say MOST people do not know about those post-event discounts so it’s going to look super gift-grabby.


    View original reply
    Horseradish, your picture just made my snort coffee at my desk! 

    Post # 13
    446 posts
    Helper bee

    This is definitely strange. I’d say it’s gift-grabby except that your friend is not advertising the registry, making the whole thing even weirder! I get that some people want a lot of gifts regardless of etiquette. I just don’t understand a jam-packed secret registry.

    Post # 14
    452 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    Initially I want to say this is “gift grabby,” but they aren’t advertising the registry.   The whole thing is just a bit weird to me.

    Post # 15
    2848 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    How is it gift-grabby if no one knows about it and shes not telling anyone about it? I say go for it, so they can get the 10% discount on the stuff they want.

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