(Closed) Regret over the Push?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

My two cents… I’m not yet engaged, but I’m one of the last in my group of girlfriends… All of my girlfriends pushed their FI’s into proposing and just watching it all unfold was quite painstaking actually.

The first friend paid for half of her ring, then she actually booked a DJ for the engagement party before he even proposed, and said to him “you have a month to propose because I’ve booked the engagement party for *this date*” 

The second one gave him a cut off date i.e “you have until *this date* otherwise the relationship is off” They will be engaged for 2 and a half years before their wedding date (to me, it’s like, well what was the point in getting engaged before the ‘cut-off’ date if you couldn’t afford to get married until 2.5 years later anyway??)

The third one would always bring it up when we were all together as a group. The poor guy would constantly be put on the spot with these awkward remarks and questions… everyone knew he was going to propose, but she just wanted to know WHEN!!! LOL

My best friend also pushed for a proposal and she did get it… but afterward he was always making excuses as to why he didn’t want to set a wedding date. First he wanted to wait until after his brother got married. After that, he wanted to wait until he found a job as a lawyer. After that he wanted to wait until they bought a house (but he wouldn’t even go house hunting with her!!) No surprise, but they are not together any longer after 8 years! And she actually said to him “I think I forced our engagement, and as a result have been forcing this relationship”

Now whenever me and SO are around my friends, they start to push him on my behalf, and put so much pressure on him! I know that my proposal is coming, and I really do not believe it’s right to push (despite what my old-school mother says!). These are all intelligent men, and they should know that when they have got a good thing, they need to put a ring on it a la Beyonce!

I think ladies just need to be patient and know that it will happen when it’s supposed to. I guess each relationship is different though…

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