(Closed) Regrets about your MOH

posted 9 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I think you should just confront her about it.  Tell her you hoped as your Maid/Matron of Honor and friend she would be willing to help you more.  Remind her that you know that she is busy, but this is a very important, if not most important, day of your life and you need her help and input. 

Maybe she has no idea what a Maid/Matron of Honor is supposed to do or is so involved in her own life she doesn’t even realize she has been un-helpful to you.  

I think if its that important to you to have her help, just tell her and hopefully she will be willing to set aside some time to help you with whatever you need. 

Post # 4
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

My sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor and she’s in the same boat – busy with school, doesn’t live close by, and doesn’t really give any imput.

I would definitely talk her. Tell her how you’re feeling in a gentle way and let you know that her opinion is important to you.

With that said, if wedding planning is getting overwhelming, if you have other BMs you can also ask them to pitch in. With my sister, she’ll be done in June so she’ll have more time to help me after school’s over. In the meantime, my other BMs have really stepped up. They are planning my shower and helping me with some of the finer details. 


Post # 5
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

My maid of honor hasn’t been involved at all really, but I knew when I asked her that she didn’t like doing that kind of stuff. I still asked her to be my maid of honor, though, because it was a way that I could honor her and thank her for her friendship over the years.

So I guess you have to consider your reasons for choosing her as maid of honor? Was it because you wanted to honor her friendship and have her stand beside you on your special day? If so, then keep her as her maid of honor. But if you were looking for a personal assistant for your wedding, maybe talk to her or find someone else (though you can hire people for that role, too).

Post # 6
1357 posts
Bumble bee

I asked two of my sisters to be my Maids of Honor. Good thing too. One has been incredibly amazing, doing whatever I need or want for my wedding? We call her "Super-Crafty Sister". The other? She ran off in January, married her boyfriend in Alabama without telling any of us, and hasn’t talked to us since. Heartbreaking. I still have no idea if she will show up at my wedding, despite all of our attempts to reach out to her…

Post # 8
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

my sis is my Maid/Matron of Honor and my bridesmaid and flowers girls are her kids


so I swing by her home once a month (she lives in LI) to work on favors  and placecards (its fuschia satin wrapped over teh cards and lace over it); if the mountain can’t come you gotta go to the mountain; it’s a lot of fun having my little nieces help me, even my 2 year old niece will help

Post # 9
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

You chose a Maid/Matron of Honor who lives 2 hours away from you… can you really be that angry that she can’t hop over and help you wrap favors? And would you feel a bit silly if she really drove a 4 hour round trip back and forth to help you do tasks like wrap favors?  My Maid/Matron of Honor also lived 2 hours away, was a forest firefighter and getting her masters in teaching during my engagement.  She was not readily available to help with wedding tasks.  I didn’t choose her for her ability to "be there" for me to complete small tasks… I chose her because she was the most important woman to me in the world.  She was there for me emotionally, while hardly physically, as she was before my engagement, and after. I was very happy with that.

You say she says everything looks nice and wont tell you the truth… what does that mean?  My Maid/Matron of Honor hates dresses, frills, weddings.  When approached with dress ideas and colors, she also said "everything looks nice". I think it’s being supportive as much as it is not sharing her opinions.  She probably wants you to be happy.  If you are making choices for your wedding and sharing them with her, and she says they are nice, is that really not "telling you the truth", or is that her being supportive of your choices?

If you’d like her to be involved with wedding tasks, see if you can’t bring the party to her.  After all, it’s your wedding and she is really doing you the favors, if anything.  If you need help with things, perhaps you can pack up your car and head out her way. As your Maid/Matron of Honor, she is probably happy to help.  

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