(Closed) Regrets from bachelorette party, how to move forward (mini vent)?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

yea thats happened tome a ton of times, on my 18th and 21st in fact. I think when a situation like that happens you often get both sides feeling bad. Maybe she feels bad for leaving the club and not getting back in and “ruining” your party? Either way all can be made up and others things can be arrange. Just make sure to talk with her

Post # 4
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

I honestly don’t think you did anything wrong. You even said you were having fun at the time right?

 

If they had been that concerned then they would have/should have phoned or texted you and then everyone could go on together.

 

I’ve been stupid in clubs where a friend has had to go home because she felt ill (and took another friend with her), the rest of us stayed and just kinda kept talking about how it sucks for her and how much less fun the night was now – noone managed to rub two brain cells together and think “hey maybe we should go join our friend”. Everyone laughs about it now of course, alcohol has a way of making people kinda dense :3

 

Anyway, please try not to feel bad, think about what fun you did have and maybe just check up that everyone is okay – maybe even grab some lunch with people if possible. Hope you feel better soon <3

Post # 5
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

In my opinion, it is NOT your responsibility at your bachelorette party to worry about the other girls – it is their responsibility to hang close to you and make sure you are having a good time. I know I’d feel bad in the same situation too, but really, their choices are theirs, and it isn’t your fault.

Post # 6
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

You had been drinking and acted in a manner that was not usual.  I would contact each of the ladies that got separated and apologize to them for the confusion.  By contact, I mean either in person or by telephone, not Facebook or text.  If they refuse to take your call, then mail a handwritten note of apology to them.  The sooner you do this the better.

Post # 7
Member
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@kmarie719:  Can you have a mulligan? My friend threw a “classy” jack and jill for her and her Fiance which accidentally got crashed by some drunk friends of FIs (there was a food fight, someone lit a shoe on fire.. it was nuts). So we threw together another night for just the girls to hit up a bar. It wasn’t a big planned event, we just picked a date got dressed and went. No hype or fuss, and we had a TON of fun. Just a thought!

Post # 8
Member
5787 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Did you find out why the girl left? I don’t see what you did wrong. It is actually pretty cr*ppy of your friends to leave the party.

Post # 9
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Why the heck did the first girl leave the club after paying a $20 cover charge?  It sounds like a dumb move on her part.

Post # 11
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

Hmmm… it’s nice that you’re concerned about how your friends feel being separated. But I can’t help but agree with some of the PP’s, why did the girl leave the club in the first place? Maybe she had to take an important phone call or something similar. If I had been that girl, and I really needed to leave the club and couldn’t get back in later, I would NOT hold it against the bride for staying!!! And I would not need a ton of other people to leave with me. Maybe if one of the other girls would be nice enough to keep me company she and I could have gone to go get a late night snack and take a movie back to the hotel or something. I 100% would not want the bride to have to leave or feel responsible for me! It’s her bachelorette party!!!

So while it’s very considerate of you to feel bad and wish you had done things differently, I don’t think you really should, in the end, feel that guilty. As long as the other girls aren’t super mad, I don’t know that you should do anything other than offer a quick apology “Gosh sorry how the night turned out! Crazy they wouldn’t let you back in.” and let it go. You really didn’t do anything wrong in my eyes.

Post # 13
Member
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I dont think you did anything wrong. She left and didnt say anything.  So let her have a pity party and go home.  You had a good night and thats all that matter. 

Post # 14
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

All you can do now is apologize and try to move on (though the blame for getting separated isn’t all your fault). There will always be experiences in life that we look forward to, or we have expectations for, and then those events don’t quite meet our ideas or expectations. I hope that eventually you’ll be able to look back on this night and remember the fun you had and forget about the drama. There are always going to be “ifs” or “coulda, shoulda, wouldas,” but you can’t live your life in that space or it will consume you. You are very caring to put yourself in your friends’ shoes and think about what it would have been like had you driven 2 hours and been separated from the bride, but at the same time, you have to remember that these are grown women who are also in control of their own actions. I have no idea why one of your friends would leave the club, but perhaps if you can get to the bottom of that it will help alleviate some of your guilt/regret. Even if you never find out the answer, however, you still need to figure out how to move on and look toward the future. 

Post # 16
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

don’t worry about it! this has happened a million times to me. your bm and the other girl were nice to keep the other girl company, and you still had your fun dancing night, so in the end it all turned out well 😀

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