Regrets over being a SAHM and marital problem??

posted 4 months ago in Relationships
Post # 16
9231 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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@elisabetn:  this! I do exclusively breastfeed at home (only pump during work for daycare bottles) and before my kids started sleeping through the night my husband got up to do the burping and diaper change in the middle of the night so I could get some more sleeping knowing they were going to wake up hungry again soon. Instead of me being super exhausted and him fresh as a daisy we were both mid-level tired but happy and functional. 

Post # 17
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 1996

You have so many friends who wish they could do what you’re doing?  I’d like to see them try!  The fantasy is WORLDS away from the reality!!

Post # 18
3484 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You don’t say how old the babies are, but I am guessing they are very young still. I am a Stay-At-Home Mom to two kids and in the UK so had 52 weeks maternity leave with both as well.

Being home all day with kids is HARD and it is very normal to feel like you have no life outside of it. Going to work sounds like such a wonderful break. I have been a full time working mother too and I can tell you that that was HARD too. Niether option is a bed of roses, but I did get to pee alone a lot more often when I was working lol.

You do need to communicate with your husband and the counselling will help with that. It is important that you both recognise that niether of you are more important in this. Being a Stay-At-Home Mom is a job just as much as his work is. He doesnt get rights to a lie in or undisturb sleep just because he works outside the home. I found it really helped to talk about working hours. I ‘work’ 8-6 (it was 7-7 before wfh happened) just like husband. Outside those hours we are a parenting team and we BOTH need to do stuff with the kids. At weekends he takes on more childcare duties so I can focus on the other jobs I need to do and can get some alone time. If you are not breastfeeding there is no reason why he cannot do some of the night feeds as well. 

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