Post # 1
In an attempt to not sound to snarky i need some advice. I have 3 girls that i’m super close to. One is my sister-in law which is my matron of honor, one is my best friend from college who i chose over a year ago to be my maid of honor, then my child hood best friend, who’s never turned her back on me. My issue is my Maid/Matron of Honor, i always had these hopes and dreams that my best friend/moh would be there every step of the wedding process; she hasn’t been involved what so ever. She is in a new relationship (which i couldn’t be happier), but i helped my mom and matron of honor plan my bachelorette party, bridal shower, etc. This past weekend was my bachelorette party which was a 2 night even, she had a last minute excuse why she couldn’t come up Friday night, then when Saturday came up she was sick. So, it put a HUGE damper on the whole weekend. Now, she doesn’t know for sure if she can make it to the wedding. She has a 2 week drill, that she’s known for a long time that was over the wedding. I know that she is attempting to get out of it, but she acts like i should bow down to her that she is, she’s all like it’s stressing me out blah blah blah. It’s stressing me out that i don’t even know if my Maid/Matron of Honor is going to be able to make it to the wedding, let alone rehearsal. I’ve been hurt enough and let down lately, that i don’t want anymore let downs or stress. I just don’t know what to do.
Then on the other hand my child hood best friend has been there through thick and thin, has helped out a ton. I just feel like i’ve made a mistake and she should be my Maid/Matron of Honor.
I have 12 days to figure all of this out…advice please?
Post # 3
I think it would cause a lot of drama to change people’s titles now. After all, all 3 girls stand up there with you – Maid/Matron of Honor is really just a title (at least to me). And asking your childhood best friend to be your Maid/Matron of Honor 12 days before the wedding might be awkward for her too. Personally, I would just go with it as is and focus on bigger things.
Post # 4
To be honest, I wouldn’t do anything. Its unfortunate that she has disappointed you. This could end up turning ugly and who needs that right before their wedding? My BM’s were pretty much a hot mess toward the end, aside from 2.5 of them but I didn’t say anything. If I had, it would of caused me more stress than it was worth. But if the relationship is worth saving to you, I’d address it later on, after the wedding. You don’t want to harbor resentment by never saying how you feel when it might just be something you guys can get past if you spoke about it. But for now, just keep faith that she’ll be able to be there on your day.
Post # 5
My Maid/Matron of Honor (I had a Matron and a Maid) did this to me. I decided to leave it as was and if she showed up to the wedding great and if not her loss not mine. My Maid/Matron of Honor was prego and was having complications so I understood her hesitation to travel or stand-up for a long time. I just didn’t cause any waves and went about enjoying my time with everyone else. As it turned out she made it to the wedding and stood there with me. She’s one of my closest friends and I knew that if I had reacted differently then we would no longer be friends and I just couldn’t see that being an option.
Post # 6
It is late to change things. You could put both maids in the program under the Maid/Matron of Honor title and tell your friend you felt it was silly to have distinctions with just three BMs. Good luck.
Post # 7
It’s your wedding and your true feelings. Those titles were given for a reason and with alot of meaning. If that person isn’t living up to it in your mind then change it. You don’t have to deal with none of the backlash because this event is about what you want and how you want it. IF she is a true friend, she will understand. I went through a similar situation and it turned out fine.