- 7 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
Who goes? Who pays? Is it necessary?
Who goes? Who pays? Is it necessary?
I’m not doing it. All of my guests are from out of town and I think it is just a waste of money.
Traditionally, the grooms parents pay and all wedding party/parents/out of towners attend. HOWEVER, you do what works for YOU. My fiance is from another state, and all of his family is traveling in. I know that it is a huge financial burden for them to come to our wedding and I don’t want to put a lot of pressure (financial or otherwise) to get them to host a rehearsal dinner for us. I’m thinking that we will actually just end up rehearsing and then going out to a local bar/lounge for cocktails.
grooms family paid for ours. It’s not necessary but I think it is a nice gesture to thank your family and bridal party for coming and being part of your wedding day. Plus everyone is in town for the rehearsal so it’s nice to spend some time with them.
you can invite out of town guests, but we didn’t because it would have been huge then.
My future Mother-In-Law is paying. All of our guests are from out of town, so we are going to have dinner for them after the rehearsal. We plan to call it something different (Welcome dinner, Meet and Greet, etc.) and hold it at the hotel or within walking distance. It will be very informal, but we feel it will be good to feed people if they get here early enough on friday night to attend.
my aunt is throwing ours. it’s just going to be a casual bbq in her backyard. that way we can afford to invite all of our Out of Town guests.
Not to hi-jack. I have a question!
When is it appropriate/normal to have one?
Wedding is the Saturday, is it ok if we have it Thursday night and not Friday?
@kitzy : That is what I wanted to do but I got shut down 🙁 My Future in laws are paying for ours and are very concerened about who can and can’t come. Ours will be parents, and bridal party. People that are doing readings, ushers, or any other minor job are not invited
We had our Rehearsal Dinner the night before our wedding at a marina pavilioni with picnic tables and lots of BBQ food. We invited all of our guests to it because if we had just invited all Out of Town guests we would have been excluding only like 10 of our guests which we didnt think was fair. My dad paid for it along with my ILs. We were so glad to have all of our guests there because it gave us an extra night with everyone and took the pressure off for the day of the wedding.
Most are planning (most as in his family all from OOT) to come in on the Tue or Wed as his bach party is going to be the Wednesday (trying to squeeze it all in with so many from far away!) so everyone we would want to be there will be here on Thurs & Fri! Our thoughts were bach/bachelorette for each of us Wednesday. Come back hungover (or not…lol) for rehearsal Thursday, rehearsal party Thursday night, Friday chill out and not drink, last min prep at venue and then Saturday’s the big day!
Generally just the bridal party and immediate family. Traditionally it’s the groom’s family that pay but certainly not something you should ask them about. It isn’t necessary at all but can be nice if you need to rehearse the wedding procession and would like dinner afterwards.
It’s not necessary! I think that you can do it in any way if you decide to do one.
You can have just the immediate family and wedding party. Or the extended family and wedding party (and their guest), etc. You can make it a lunch, or dinner. You can have it after the rehearsal, when everyone is together. I don’t think there are strong rules here.
FI’s father offered to pay for the Rehearsal Dinner, so we are having it. Also, since a lot family (vast majority on FI’s side) is traveling into town for the wedding, FI’s father also wanted to have them at the Rehearsal Dinner. Since he’s paying and willing, that’s fine with me. This means that we’ll have about 60 people at the Rehearsal Dinner – not ideal, but he wants to have a warm welcome for his family and it’ll be the first time that they are meeting me.
We’re having one that kind of serves a few purposes. The dinner itself will be for the immediate family, the bridal party, the grandparents, and whoever attends the actual rehearsal (because they’re in the ceremony). We’re extending invitations for drinks and dessert after dinner wraps up to all Out of Town guests and our extended family. It’s too much to invite everyone for the entire evening, but we want them to feel welcome to come over if they want!
Who goes: at a minimum, immediate families and bridal party, along with any spouses or fiances.
Who pays: you and your FH, unless somebody steps up and offers to host. Traditionally, the groom’s parents host, but I think that is becoming less common just as it is becoming less common for the bride’s parents to host the wedding.
Is it necessary: Yes, if you are having a rehearsal.
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