(Closed) Rehearsal Dinner

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Our rehersal dinner (if FI’s parents ever get around to planning it – they’re footing the bill) will likely include: 

-Bridal Party (5 BM/GM and their SOs, Flower Girl and Ring Bearer and their parents)

-Parents (4)

-Grandparents (6)

-His aunts/uncles (they’re out of town) (up to 20)

-My family members who will be traveling in from overseas (2-5 people)

I said it was fine by me not to have my aunts/uncles there since most are local and I’d like to keep the affiar small. My sister’s rehersal dinner included 100 people and was like a mini wedding. I’m not letting that fly.  We may not even include his aunts/uncles  (he’s got 10 of them + their SOs).  We are thinking of having the Rehearsal Dinner then letting everyone know we will be at X bar at X time to hang out with anyone else who wants to come get the party started!

Post # 4
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

My Father-In-Law hosted our rehearsal dinner and it was only immediate family + wedding party.

Post # 5
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Typically the groom’s parents host the rehearsal dinner.

Regardless it’s not ok for one side to invite a bunch of randoms/extended fam and not do the same on the other side of the family.

Plus, aren’t rehearsals really a time to have a nice calm, intimate gathering to thank the party for everything they’ve done for you so far?

I would probably put the bridezilla foot down on this one if I were you.

Post # 6
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We have decided that our rehearsal dinner will include all ppl in the wedding including ushers and readers along with immediate family.

Wedding party (including their SO and Flower Girl and RB) – 32

Ushers and readers (+ their SO) – 6

Parents – 4

Grandparents – 6

Total 48ppl, geez thats a lot, OP thanks for making me count LOL

Post # 7
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

wedding party and immediate family only. No aunts or uncles or cousins. Neices and nephews, grandparents, siblings of us and our parents, nothing more.

Post # 8
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

We are having the wedding party (and their spouses/dates), our parents, my grandma and aunt, our officiant (a friend) and her husband), our Day Of Coordinator, and then some extended family as they are able to come. It is out of town so people have to come in early. If his grandma and aunt(s) are able to come in early, we’d be thrilled to have them, but that means they have to get a hotel room for 2 nights instead of 1.

It will probably be between 18 – 25 people.

We are doing super casual. We rented a banquet room at the hotel where we are staying ($175). I am having a local Mexican restaurant bring in a nice taco bar, plus buying desserts separately. They quoted me something like $9/person, but I want to dress it up a little more with salads and sides, so for the food, I’ve budgeted $350. I have $100 budgeted for us to buy drinks (Corona, Pitchers of Margarita, Sodas, Lemonade, Tea, Water). 

I’m spending $125 on table decor and nice disposable tableware. Nothing crazy, but we’re using silver chargers from the dollar store but then nice black thick disposable plates on top of them. Nice silver plastic flatware, high quality cups, plastic margarita glasses, etc. Disposable is more for convenience than cost – I could have easily brought dishes from home cheaper! But who would clean them?!

Invitations cost me $35 including printing and postage.

All in budget is $785, although it will probably come in a bit below that. FI’s mom is giving us $250 towards that, the rest is on us/coming out of the wedding budget (my parents and I are contributing to that).

It seems super expensive for what we are having, but even though we’re having casual, I still wanted it to be nice for what it is. It adds up quickly.

We could have likely gone to a restaurant for the same price and provided some drinks (although not unlimited), but the real restraining factor was that we needed a place to rehearse the ceremony and restaurants weren’t large enough. We would have had to have rented out our banquet hall for Friday night to rehearse there, which was affordable (about the same price), but I didn’t want to eat dinner in the same place two nights in a row.

Post # 9
2822 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

My aunt is hosting our rehearsal dinner & since we are having a Destination Wedding she invited everyone who is coming to the wedding.

Post # 10
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

We are very up in the air if we will be having a rehersal dinner at this time.  Right now, if we just have the wedding party, and immediate family, we are looking at 51 people… It is a little hard to get my head around when we are having a wedding the following day and we are expecting only about 75-80.  I might as well be having a 2nd wedding.  Right now my Fiance and I are paying the the wedding by ourselves without any help.  It is especially hard when I am one of 8 children (product of several divorces between my parents).  Do I only invite some of my siblings or all of them to the rehersal dinner?  My brothers and sisters that I grew up with are part of the wedding party, the other step brothers and sisters that came after I was out of highschool are not and would be coming as guests. 

Wedding party (and SO’s & kids) – 23

Parents – 6

Grandparents – 7

Siblings/SO/neices & nephews – 15


Post # 11
1736 posts
Bumble bee

My Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law hosted our rehearsal dinner. We invited out-of-town extended family in addition to the bridal party and immediate family. My husband’s family was mostly driving in the day of the wedding as the ceremony didn’t start until 4:00pm the next day so it ended up looking like this:

Bride & Groom: 2
Mother-In-Law & Father-In-Law: 2
Bride’s Parents: 2
Wedding Party & Spouses (this includes my 2 siblings): 22
Bride’s Grandparents: 2
Bride’s Cousins: 2
Bride’s Aunt/Uncle(s): 3

Total: 35

Again, the invites were only extended to family that were in town the night before (no other invites were extended to family coming in the next day). It turned out lopsided in my favor only because of the aforementioned fact that husband’s family was mostly coming in the day of (and he’s an only child). Note: I suggested inviting all the extended family and Mother-In-Law told me to go ahead and invite mine but she had no interest in hosting hers…!! That settled that!

Post # 12
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

We had a Destination Wedding and invited everyone, and everyone came (so around 72 people including kids). This worked great for us because I had already greeted and mingled with everyone before the wedding even started, and a lot of people from different family and friend groups got the chance to meet each other. My husband paid for the rehearsal dinner (we called it a welcome dinner). It wasn’t an insignificant expense but we looked at it as an important part of the wedding.

From reading these boards I know that different ideas about the rehearsal dinner often cause tensions. What I don’t understand is inviting only the extended family from one side? That seems a little weird. Seems like it should either be wedding party and immediately family only, or all out of town guests on both sides, or everyone.

Post # 13
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

We had about 100 at our rehearsal dinner. We had all the bridal party plus their signifcant others (and we each had 10 standing on our side), immediate and extended family, and out of town guests. It was a large rehearsal dinner but we felt that all family should be included and that anyone who had spent so much money to come into town for our wedding should be invited.

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