(Closed) Rehearsal Dinner

posted 4 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
Member
10281 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

We didn’t invite out of town guests to the rehearsal dinner. It would have been almost the whole guest list! I would stick with just the 40 people. Your mom isn’t paying for the rehearsal so she gets no say in who is invited.

Post # 3
Member
1083 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Our rehearsal dinner will be around 40 people. If we invited every out of town guest, we’d have to have another reception, and we just can’t afford to do that.

I have a couple of friends who are getting married this fall. They’re having a 400 person wedding. They’re doing a 200 person rehearsal dinner on Thursday and a huge cocktail party on Friday. Go big or go home! lol

Post # 4
Member
7567 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
emapples :  I find the concept of inviting out of town guests to be unnecessary. As a guest, I don’t want to feel obligated to attend any more events than I have to and considering that a Saturday wedding means Friday rehearsal, most people will be traveling all day and might not feel up to it. I personally would invite your immediate family and bridal party (plus spouses, etc) and call it a day.

Post # 5
Member
47413 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I prefer that rehearsal dinners focus on the reason they exist in the first place- an opportunity to thank the wedding party for their time and support, and to ensure that the families and wedding party have all met before the wedding.

If you so choose, you could invite the OOT’s to drop by later for coffee/dessert.

Post # 6
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

On the other hand your parents are footing the bill for the wedding it seems and proper etiquette insists that you extend your out of town guests an invite simply because they are not in familiar territory and have come from a ways away for your wedding. 

The polite thing to do is invite them, I think that’s what your mother is getting at. 

Post # 7
Member
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Our rehearsal dinner was just the people at the rehearsal… so the wedding party, their families, and our immediate families, and that came out to 65 people. If we included out of towners it straight up just would’ve been another reception, we only had a 115 person guest list. Lol

Post # 8
Member
14055 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We didn’t invite our Out of Town guests either, because we didn’t want the Rehearsal Dinner to feel like a mini wedding.  Our Rehearsal Dinner was wedding party only but near the hotel block so we could hang out with the other guests after the dinner ended.

Post # 9
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I’ve said it before on other threads. In my opinion, inviting Out of Town guests to the rehearsal dinner made sense when John married Jane from down the street and everyone knew each other’s families and friends. It just doesn’t make sense today with people living all over the world and marrying people who grew up in other cities. Just the people who are actually in the wedding need to be at the rehearsal. Pizza sounds wonderful!

Post # 10
Member
229 posts
Helper bee

Shoot, we didn’t even do a rehearsal dinner and I’m so glad we didn’t! We literally met up (just the bridal party and my parents) at the venue for an hour the day before to run through what we’d be doing, and then we peaced out haha.

I can’t imagine hosting something like that, for that long, the day before my wedding!

Post # 11
Member
555 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Lake Louise Canada

We made the mistake of an open invite to a “welcome” dinner expecting maybe 50% turnout. Nope, looks like the ENTIRE guest list is coming out a day early for dinner. The resouces are available so we’re fine but definitely only invite who you want there, don’t assume any “no”s. If you invite 130 people you could legitimately wind up with a 130 person dinner. I dont think theres anything wrong with drop-in but are you prepared to host for multiple hours? That seems like a lot.

Post # 12
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Ours is just wedding party and families.  We’re doing the rehearsal BBQ on Thursday at my moms, then the Friday were going to this market that is across the street from our hotel and inviting out of towners to join us in the beer garden if they want, but it’s clear it’s not hosted. The welcome party, IMO, is just another thing that gets tacked on to wedding planning, when its just a nice-to-have, not a must-have. 

Post # 13
Member
2870 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

We are having the Out of Town guests at our rehearsal dinner but only because all of FI’s family lives out of state.  I realize this is not the norm, so ours will be more of a “welcome” dinner vs a true rehearsal dinner.  We are having it at a pizza place since our city is known for its pizza and will have a much more casual vibe than the wedding itself.

We also chose to do it this way because it gives them something to do the night before the wedding instead of just sitting around their hotel.  But since so many of them have never been to our city, if they chose to do something else, that’s fine with us.

Most of my friends only had the wedding party and immediate family at their Rehearsal Dinner so I think it would be fine to keep it small.

Post # 14
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2017

It’s nice to invite Out of Town guests, but it’s not feasible if that’s all the wedding guest. O:

We only have about 20 invited to our rehersal. We have a relatively small wedding party, half of which are single, and one flower girl who if my FH’s daughter. 

I’d explain to your mom that you simply can’t afford it, and also shouldn’t have a wedding before the wedding.

Post # 15
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

We invited Out of Town guests but we didn’t have a huge wedding. It was fun to spend extra time with them since we never see each other.

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