Post # 1
My Future Father-In-Law is paying for our rehearsal dinner which when we first discussed it was only going to be the bridal party, and the parents of the bride and groom (due to budget constraints). My Future Mother-In-Law sent out e-invites for the rehearsal today and my FIL’s have invited every one of their family members who are coming to the wedding to come to the rehearsal dinner and have only invited my parents on my side! Two out of three of my bridesmaid’s were not even on the invite list (the third bridesmaid is FI’s sister)! When the rehearsal was first discussed my parents had offered to pay for our family members who were invited to include grandparents and his parents had refused the offer. My parents in addition to paying for the wedding are also hosting an additional cocktail party the day before the wedding for all our guest so that the families can meet. I am a little hurt that no one in my family with the exception of me and my parents are invited to the rehearsal dinner which includes over 25 of our wedding guests all from his side. Now that invites have already been sent is it even appropriate to tell his parents that I am uncomfortable and frankly hurt that the rehearsal has turned into a family dinner for his family only? I’m not sure how I should even broach the subject with my FIL’s because I don’t want to hurt their feelings but I feel like the rehearsal guest list is innapropriate and inconsiderate. Is this something I should just go with the flow on or should I say something? Sorry if this is kind of rambling or unclear just trying to stay level headed and not get too upset about it.
Post # 3
Unfortunately… it’s their party and they get to be as rude and inconsiderate as they want. (And it sounds like they want it a lot.) When I hosted/organized my FI’s son’s rehearsal dinner, I took the guest list they gave me and used that. It would never have occurred to me to add on a bunch of my own friends/family members. But some people are clueless jerks, and there’s not much you can do.
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre
Yikes!! I would hope that Fiance would say something to his parents. If they cant/won’t pay for your relatives to come, I would just send out invitations to them anyway and ask if your parents would pay. If it was me, my family would feel so disrespected by not being invited, and I would prefer to upset/point out how unfair this is to my FIL/MIL than to have my family and bridal party feel that I was the rude/ungrateful one. Good luck! xo
Post # 5
@hawaiibunny: Is this rehearsal dinner, as many rehearsal dinners are, right after the actual ceremony rehearsal? I would most certainly say something about that, especially if two of your bridesmaids have to go home after the rehearsal. Maybe just ask if they can be included since the rehearsal dinner is to include the wedding party and you assumed they would be invited. It would be hard for them to just say NO to your request.
Post # 6
Frankly, it is rude not to invite everyone in the wedding party to the rehearsal dinner. I think it needs to be cleared with them (from FI) that rehearsal dinners are typically a dinner for anyone who participated in the rehearsal. And that’s it. It’s crazy to invite all these people and then turn around and have a wedding the following day. Even if they are paying for it, it is not their party. It’s you and your FI’s. They are just graciously paying for it.
Post # 7
+1! Took the words right out of my mouth.