Post # 1
Future Mother-In-Law has planned out everyyy detail to the rehearsal dinner decor, without asking me about anything, but rather showing me what she has already purchased. I wasn’t really disturbed by this (even though I never ever would have picked a “grapes and diamonds” theme) but after we left, Fiance was in shock. He asked why I was okay with her taking over, why I wasn’t decorating it, etc. She is paying for half of it, his Dad and step-mom are paying for the other half.
So whose jurisdiction is the rehearsal dinner decor?
Post # 3
Is Future Mother-In-Law paying for it? If so I would let her have it. You have enough to think about before your wedding. Unless she is making it really offensive, ugly etc I’d let it slide. If your Fiance is really upset about it let him say something to her. Why stir the pot ya know?
Post # 4
I totally agree, if she is paying for it, it should be her decision…
Post # 5
If she’s paying for it, let her do it. In fact, I’m glad it’s one less thing I have to worry about.
Post # 6
My Future Mother-In-Law is paying for it, so whatever she decides is fine with me.
Post # 7
Honestly I have no idea. But I am just thinking about other events and usually the host takes care of the menu and decor. That being said, the party is in your honor and I would think that your input would be appreciated. In her defense maybe she thinks that she is doing you a favor by taking care of it without bothering you about it since you are planning a wedding.
Post # 8
I edited the post to say that she and my FI’s dad and step mom are splitting it.
Thats kind of the policy I was taking, that it was one less thing for me to worry about, but he got me to thinking. Plus, grapes and diamonds? lol.
Post # 9
Traditionally the rehearsal dinner is paid by the FI’s side of the family. If they are paying for it that means they get to decorate and so forth. So that you can just come and enjoy and not be stressed out. Congrats!
Post # 10
we’re having it at my fi’s parents house. as far as i know there won’t be decorating, just food. and i don’t know what food. but i don’t care, i trust them, and i don’t want to make any more decisions! plus, she knows me. she had to pick colors for flowers for temple the other day, and she chose pink for me! so i’m not worried about anything.
Post # 11
honestly, I knew very little about the Rehearsal Dinner before I showed up, and by then I didn’t care almost no matter what, ha
Post # 12
I have always been under the impression that the rehearsal dinner is sort of like a gift from the groom’s parents. Subsequently I believe that the decisions should be left up to them. If you were paying for it yourself, it would be a different story. But this is their “gift”, so let them give you what they see fit 🙂
Post # 13
We are not decorating. I didn’t know you were supposed to?
Although ours is just a cookout in FMIL’s backyard, so no decorations really needed anyway
Post # 14
Not sure why Fiance was so shocked, I mean, it’s the rehearsal dinner, not the wedding. It’s not that big a deal what it looks like!
It hadn’t occurred to me that decorating for the rehearsal dinner was a “thing.” Future In-Laws picked a nice, swank little Italian restaurant near our venue and we have the whole upstairs loft reserved. I can’t imagine any decorating is warranted.
I agree with the others, don’t worry about the decor for the rehearsal dinner and just let Future Mother-In-Law do her thing.
Post # 15
Hosts and Hostesses usually do all the decor. Just like your Maid/Matron of Honor would set up, design, and buy everything for your shower. Your Future Mother-In-Law and your FSMIL/FFIL should decide everything for the Rehearsal Dinner. It doesn’t have to match your wedding ideas anyway, it’s a party thrown by them for you.
Post # 16
It wouldn’t even occur to me that someone other than myself would be making the decisions about decor or food for the rehearsal dinner…but I guess we are doing our own thing in all respects. A burden and a blessing!