Post # 1
My wedding is in November, and my parents have gone ALL OUT. Like, $20k all out. My fiancé and I have agreed to shoulder the dj and photographer bill, which, along with our honeymoon and cost of rings, apartment down payment (we will only move in together after the wedding), and his suit (which will be kind of mismatched for that hipster/vintage look, so we won’t be renting), had left us strapped for ANY extra cash. What I’m worried about is the Rehersal Dinner. My parents have already said that they won’t be paying for it (I don’t blame them), but my fiancés mom probably doesn’t even want to think about herself having to pay for it, since she is broke as a joke and only has money for manicures, apparently. And seriously…I’ve seen her ONCE since we’ve been engaged back in February, and we don’t even live that far away. We are always driving to her apartment if we ever see her. The one time I saw her was when I offered to buy her coffee so that I could talk to her to make sure she was okay with my FH’s little sister being a bridesmaid (sister is mentally impaired, but I was also concerned about them affording a dress, actually making it to events, etc.). She hasn’t put anything towards the wedding at all, and hasn’t even attempted to meet my father, who is paying for her son to have this incredible wedding. I’m obviously bothered by this, so sorry if it seems like I hate the woman. I like her a lot, and she has a very warm personality, but she has been so foolish with her money that it’s putting everyone else in a tough spot. I’m frustrated.
ANYways…to get to the point…who should pay for the rehersal dinner?? Our venue is about 1 1/2 hrs away, so I’m not sure if it’s a bad idea to do a simple pizza dinner back at our house or whatever. We have a medium-sized party, so while going out sounds like the most fun, it will also be the most expensive.
Post # 2
While traditionally the groom’ss family pays, that tradition is quickly dying. You can’t force the groom’s mother to pay, nor can you guilt her into it. Nor can you get bitter and resentful when she doesn’t open up her wallet. Your party = you pay. Be grateful that your parents are able and willing to be generous with their gift to you, but do not assume that they were under any obligation to pay for your wedding.
if you can’t afford a rehearsal dinner then don’t have one.
Post # 3
amanda.krafft: If you have a rehearsal that requires the presence of your wedding party on a separate day, it is courteous to host them at dinner.
If the groom’s family doesn’t host, by default it’s up to the two of you. Given that your parents are paying for the vast majority of the wedding expenss, I am sure that you and your FI can host a simple dinner at your home or beer and pizza at the bowling alley.
Post # 4
I paid for the rehearsal dinner. I spent arond $100 and my mom and stepdad cooked. We had over 40 people (bridal party, their kids, kids in the wedding, he officiant, and my oot family). i NEVER expected my il’s to pay for that.
Just to add, I also paid for the wedding…. I got a little help here but it was my wedding (well, our wedding) and I wanted what I wanted so I paid for it.
I think pizza and drinks are just fine for the RD. Nothing big or fancy and it will be more relaxerd at home anyway… we had ours at home and it was a blast.
Post # 5
Well really no one has to/should pay for the rehersal dinner. It’s essentially a party for you and you should be the one to throw it. IF someone offers to pay for it then that’s great and accept it but don’t go asking for anyone to pay for something you want. If you do have a rehersal where the bridal party has to come together to practice and/or set stuff up then you should offer them dinner that works for your budget, whether it be pizza, a barbeque, etc. If they you don’t need to see the bridal party the day before the wedding then just forgo the dinner and have a nice evening with your FI.
Post # 6
Her financial status isn’t ‘putting you in a tight spot’ unless you are giving her money. You shouldn’t have expected someone else to pick up the bill and should have put this into your budget.
You asked who should pay: your parents said no, his mom can’t afford to so that leaves a pretty clear answer of who will be paying. You and your FI are the only ones who should be expected to pay anyways unless someone else graciously offers to host. Host what you can afford- pizza is just fine for a rehearsal dinner.