(Closed) Rehearsal Dinner.. do I really have to invite all the out of town guests.

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 3
773 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Your not. The rehersal dinner is just for the people in the wedding party and you and your FI’s immediate family. Thats it!

Post # 4
1794 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Only people at the rehearsal and their SOs really need to be invited to the dinner.

Post # 4
6889 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I don’t think it’s necessary to invite Out of Town guests. It’s nice, sure, but not necessary.

Post # 5
47412 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You absolutely do not have to invite all the OOT’s. They are coming to town for your wedding, not your rehearsal dinner. They are perfectly capable of entertaining themselves for one meal. Many of them might prefer smaller get togethers anyhow.

The rehearsal dinner traditionally was held to thank the attendants for their time and support and for the two families to meeet, if they hadn’t done so already.


Post # 6
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m in a similar situation: so we’re inviting the folks who came in from out of state, which are significantly fewer in number than the rest of the lot.

Post # 7
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I do not think it’s necessary. We are going to have quite a few Out of Town guests also but I already discussed this with Fiance and we both agree that only the wedding party and people that are needed at the rehersal will be invited to the rehersal dinner. As an Out of Town guest I would not be expecting to be invited to the rehersal dinner! 

Post # 8
7581 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Nope. Not at all.

Post # 9
4883 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

No way, just the people at your rehearsal and their dates.  That’s the rehearsal dinner.  🙂

Post # 10
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Definitely not – about 95% of our guests are from out of town.   We have no wedding party, so we’re not having a rehersal dinner really – but we are sponsoring a 2 hour ‘Welcome Cocktails’ on Friday night for everyone to hang out ahead of time.  While it does certainly cost money to do this, it shouldn’t be too crazy.  I’m looking forward to hanging out with friends and family in a more relaxed atmosphere – before the craziness of the Wedding day begins.

Post # 11
5653 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

About 80% of our guests are coming from out of town and there is just no way we could have afforded to invite them all to the rehearsal dinner. That would almost basically be having 2 wedding receptions lol.

I’m just inviting those in the wedding party and close family.

Post # 12
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Thank you for posting this. I was thinking we needed to invite all the Out of Town guests too. Looks like the answer is no… WOOHOO! Money saved.

Post # 13
8734 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Our wedding required travel for all attending except for Mother-In-Law. 

We decided to make a “wedding weekend” out of it since people were traveling from so far away (10+ hour flights). So we had a casual rehearsal dinner for everyone so they could “drop by when they got into town”. We also had a day after brunch for everyone to get some food and see us again before heading home.

Not everyone came to the dinner and brunch but our guests really enjoyed the option of having things to do both on Friday night and Sunday and I loved having more time with the guests, especially those from far away who we didn’t get to see often.

You definitely do not have to do it, but I was really happy that we did it (and I think our guests were too).

Post # 14
1866 posts
Buzzing bee

@arrein:  You absolutely do not need to invite out of town guests to the RD!  I would say just the wedding party and their guests, and your grandparents and parents and your FH’s grandparents and parents. 🙂

Post # 15
23 posts

My boyfriend’s mom – MOG for her other son decided to say upfront she would pay for the rehersal dinner.  All the Out of Town guests were invited.  It was a rehersal dinner that cost her about 11K and had about 110 people in attendance.  Open bar to boot.  It was a mini wedding.


Not a good idea – do not invite Out of Town or the in laws will resent the hell out of you. 

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