Post # 46
Why don’t you just pay the difference for the “extra” spouses?
Post # 47
Agreed, the BBQ idea is sounding better and better.
I think we may do that. Not really sure how, but I just don’t want to accept their money if they’re going to act like that. Everyone else is understanding of it. It’s just the two. It’s so frustrating.
I’m seriously considering changing to something completely low-key and cheap. Not even at a restaurant anywhere. You’re right, it’s not worth the stress.
Yes, there is a rehearsal beforehand. Whatever we’re going to do, we’re gonna do it with all the SOs. As far as chipping in, we don’t really have the means right now (I’ve explained in previous updates), but maybe there’s something that we can do that’s a lot more low-key and cheap so that we don’t have to take any money from them period. And that way, everyone can be invited and they won’t have any say as to who can and can’t come.
We don’t really have the means to pay for a whole rehearsal dinner ourselves (see previous updates) but I’m gonna look into doind something fairly cheap like a BBQ. We know a guy very well who owns a meat shop and he’s already offered us a discount on anything we might need for the wedding. So I’m sure we’ll go see him and see what we can come up with. Although pizza is always a good option too.
I’m honestly not too worried about it reflecting negatively on me. Everyone knows we’re not hosting it and yes, everyone has definitely already figured out what a brat Future Sister-In-Law is. If it comes down to it, and we just let them have their way, I know it will all be fine eventually, it’s only one night after all. But I’m hoping we can come up with an idea that doesn’t involve taking any money from them period. We’ll see. I’m sure at that point they’ll find something wrong with that option too. “Well our rehearsal dinner plan wasn’t good enough for y’all…” Yeah, I see that happening. But in the end, if it makes us happier and everyone gets to come and enjoy it, it’ll all be worth it.
Post # 48
Because at $25 per person, that’s gonna be $250 minimum for us to pay. Which we can’t really afford right now (lots of unexpected costs for the wedding). Otherwise, we would totally do that and just be done with it.
Post # 49
TBH I prefer more low key casual rehersals. Everyone is going to be dolled up and fancy the next day, the rehersal is nice to just relax with these people before the big day. I think just ordering pizza and beer would be amazing haha.
Post # 50
Yeah, that honestly sounds like such a better time than what they were originally planning. Not as formal, and everyone can be a part of it.
Post # 51
I would rather there be no rehearsal dinner than be forced to attend a rehearsal dinner without my spouse, especially if I had to travel to the wedding. I would show up for the rehearsal and fulfill that duty but would decline the dinner. It’s just rude. And it’s super werid to me that the immediate family isn’t invited. wow. Find a cheaper place that can accommodate everyone. Who cares if you have 50 people at your dinner what’s so wrong with spending time with family and friends?
Post # 52
So wild guess here that you’re NOT inviting out of towners to attend the rehersal dinner…?
Post # 53
Given how your in-laws feel, I’d probably thank them kindly for their offer of a rehearsal dinner, but decline it.
Schedule the rehearsal with just your wedding party and let them know you will be having pizza, beer/wine, or a barbeque at your house after- let them bring their significant others to that. This shouldn’t be that stressful- no one needs this before the wedding. I’m willing to bet that pizza/barbeque/something casual with the people who are particiapting in yoyr wedding will be one of the nicest memories you have. A fancy dinner mired in stress won’t be.
Post # 54
Yes, there are out-of-towners invited. But all of their SOs know each other and were planning to all do something while we were at rehearsal and the dinner. They were totally cool with it. The rest of the spouses are from here and were just planning on staying home or doing something else that night. They were also cool with it. Everybody was cool with it except Future Sister-In-Law and Future Mother-In-Law.
I agree, that does sound really nice. Pizza honestly sounds best, because there’s not work to be done other than have a clean house and order the pizza. But you’re right, it sounds a lot less stressful if we do it that way.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. But at the request of Future In-Laws, we tried to keep it small to keep costs down. And once we made that decision we honestly liked the idea of it being a little bit smaller and less hectic. As far as finding a cheaper place, I’ve explained before that they’re dead set on this particular restaurant. I don’t think it’s an option, as we’ve already tried to suggest it to them and they didn’t bite.
Post # 55
I get that she’s a pain- but keep in mind, this is your future sister wether you’re getting along or not. If I were you, I’d be the bigger person and let her come. Its a crappy situation and I get it. Like many PP’s, I’ve never been to a rehearsal dinner where family & spouses were not inveited to rehearsal dinner.
Post # 56
For our rehearsal dinner, We are going to a pizza joint in Orlando, “renting a room” (which is actually free!), ordering a bunch of salad, pizza’s and pitchers of soda/beer. Simple. Stress free!
Post # 57
- Wedding: May 2016 - St. John\'s Lutheran Church
I don’t want to threadjack, but I don’t understand this sentiment. I would feel fairly insulted if someone implied that my husband and I are not independent people and that I cannot attend social events without him. Anyone who refuses to leave the house without their SO is being a gigantic baby, imho.
That being said, I understand that it’s different with weddings, especially if people have travelled. No one wants to abandon their partner in a hotel room for the night. But it sounds like that’s not OP’s case.