(Closed) Rehearsal Dinner Drama (vent)

posted 7 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
4159 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I guess the big question is: who’s paying for the RD?

Post # 4
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

@Ryansgirl: Exactly…if you aren’t paying for it, you don’t have much of a say on who is invited to it.

Post # 5
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m not going to be able to give you very good advice, but I can commisserate.  Pretty much the SAME thing happened to me, except it was my mom.  We were just planning on having wedding party and grandparents.  My mother threatened not to come if people she had chosen were not invited.  In the end. we just had to give into her, because she seriously would have not come and I would have been so embarrassed.

Post # 7
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Definitely a hard decision with it being a Destination Wedding BUT if the inlaws are paying, then they have a say of who is invited. 

Step back and put yourself in FMIL’s shoes – your sister is traveling for your son’s wedding, you haven’t seen her in forever and want to spend as much time with her as possible, you’re divorced and will be around your ex and his family — maybe she wants the added support of her sister?  Obviously, I have no idea – just trying to make you see it from her side.

Post # 8
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

The more the merrier??

I was on the opposite side, DH’s family wasn’t driving too far and my family was coming cross country. I was pretty embarassed to have to tell my relatives they weren’t invited becaus DH’s family refused to pay (I didn’t want to pay for everyone’s Out of Town guests, but was willing to pay for my side).

I think Out of Town guests expect to be invited. 90% of weddings where I’ve been an Out of Town guest I’ve been invited to the rehearsal dinner.

Post # 9
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@BoiledPNut The big thing is that if we do it her way, all the people at the wedding will be at the rehearsal dinner with the exception of our cousins.

I don’t think this will be a problem. Lots of weddings are like that and it’s nice to meet at the rehearsal dinner if you aren’t having a welcome party.

Post # 11
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@BoiledPNut: Have Future Mother-In-Law invite whomever she wants. Then, hire a mariachi band to serenade at her side all night. Or, set up an arm wrestling match between Future Mother-In-Law and her sister.

Post # 12
Member
2701 posts
Sugar bee

I say just let it roll off your back. I can totally relate to you with the overbearing inlaws, but definitely let it go. It is a battle not worth fighting. We had no choice but to invite about 85% of our wedding guests to the Rehearsal Dinner, you’re not alone 🙂

Post # 13
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee

I dont understand the logic if you arent paying for it you dont have a say. I think its your Rehearsal Dinner. If someone has offered to pay, great. But since when does offering to pay also allow these ppl to say ‘with strings attached’. if someone wants to pay, pay. But its your Rehearsal Dinner and you decide who is going.

The topic ‘Rehearsal Dinner Drama (vent)’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors