(Closed) Rehearsal Dinner Drama

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

60 seems high for a rehearsal dinner but if half of those are wedding party then maybe not..  If your parents are paying they deserve to have more people present.  At mine I plan on inviting immediate family and wedding party only.

Post # 4
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

The rehearsal dinner guests (besides the bride, groom and their parents) are typically limited to the bridal party and anyone else participating in the ceremony. And maybe the grandparents, if you’re so inclined.

Based on experience, I don’t think the bridal party needs to bring guests. For example, a few years ago, my Fiance was part of a bridal party and attended the rehearsal dinner, but I didn’t come along as his date.

The close family that your mom wants included are going to be there the next day at the wedding to celebrate, so if it helps keep the in-law relationship friendly, I would say they should skip this round.

It sounds from your post like the groom’s family is paying for the RH, is that right?

Wedding drama sucks, ugh! Hope it works out

Post # 5
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Personally, we are only having wedding party, and parents at the rehearsal dinner. 60 people seems like a lot for a rehearsal dinner.

Post # 7
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I agree with the previous posters. 60 is a bit high, and the rehearsal is typically limited to the bride and groom and the wedding party with parents and maybe grandparents. Perhaps, a separate lunch or dinner can be held for the extras.

Post # 8
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We are only having wedding party, readers (FI’s sisters), parents, and grandparents.  We are allowing wedding party and FI’s sisters to bring dates.

My mom wants my aunt (because of my grandma) to come but I’m not sure that will end up happening b/c Future Mother-In-Law feels that then all aunts/uncles should come.

Post # 9
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

we’re dealing with the same thing (though minus the unpleasant drama…(hug)!)…we have a tiny wedding party (just immediate family) but we’re having like 80 people (out of 170 or so) at the rehearsal dinner…and that’s after cutting it down!  our guide has been: immediate family, my and my FI’s  aunts & uncles, first cousins (who are all from out of town), our closest friends and out of town guests whom we think would be coming in friday. 

i can also relate to the $ tug of war between families and how it bleeds into planning.  my advice is to tell your parents that while you and your Fiance are soooo grateful for your parents’ generosity, you’re both going to pull back your involvement from any drama that affects your relatinoship with your Fiance b/c you don’t want your feelings of loyalty to your individual families to hurt your marriage.  one final (hug) for going through this.

Post # 10
Member
1585 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We will have both of our families, our wedding party and their SO, and our out of town guests.  We have a lot of people coming from Europe so they will be invited too.

We are going to have the rehearsal dinner at my parents house so we are able to accommodate a lot of people.

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