Post # 1
Who is supposed to be invited to the rehearsal dinner? My mom/future mother in law are now arguing about numbers for the rehearsal dinner..grooms family had about half the number in mind that my mom did and my mom submitted a list with very close friends family/wedding participants and now its a problem with the mother in law about that being more people than they expected..So how many is too many? for a wedding of about 250 is around 60 too much for the rehearsal dinner? There is around 25 in the wedding party including their guests
This is a mess..I think another underlying issue is that the grooms family has not offered to help out at all with the expenses.of the wedding besides the rehersal dinner.( my parents are paying for the wedding)..not that they are required to help with the wedding, but I think that is what is at the basis of this problem
Post # 3
60 seems high for a rehearsal dinner but if half of those are wedding party then maybe not.. If your parents are paying they deserve to have more people present. At mine I plan on inviting immediate family and wedding party only.
Post # 4
The rehearsal dinner guests (besides the bride, groom and their parents) are typically limited to the bridal party and anyone else participating in the ceremony. And maybe the grandparents, if you’re so inclined.
Based on experience, I don’t think the bridal party needs to bring guests. For example, a few years ago, my Fiance was part of a bridal party and attended the rehearsal dinner, but I didn’t come along as his date.
The close family that your mom wants included are going to be there the next day at the wedding to celebrate, so if it helps keep the in-law relationship friendly, I would say they should skip this round.
It sounds from your post like the groom’s family is paying for the RH, is that right?
Wedding drama sucks, ugh! Hope it works out
Post # 5
Personally, we are only having wedding party, and parents at the rehearsal dinner. 60 people seems like a lot for a rehearsal dinner.
Post # 6
Yes, the grooms parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner..so its really their call but its still going to be an issue
Post # 7
I agree with the previous posters. 60 is a bit high, and the rehearsal is typically limited to the bride and groom and the wedding party with parents and maybe grandparents. Perhaps, a separate lunch or dinner can be held for the extras.
Post # 8
We are only having wedding party, readers (FI’s sisters), parents, and grandparents. We are allowing wedding party and FI’s sisters to bring dates.
My mom wants my aunt (because of my grandma) to come but I’m not sure that will end up happening b/c Future Mother-In-Law feels that then all aunts/uncles should come.
Post # 9
we’re dealing with the same thing (though minus the unpleasant drama…(hug)!)…we have a tiny wedding party (just immediate family) but we’re having like 80 people (out of 170 or so) at the rehearsal dinner…and that’s after cutting it down! our guide has been: immediate family, my and my FI’s aunts & uncles, first cousins (who are all from out of town), our closest friends and out of town guests whom we think would be coming in friday.
i can also relate to the $ tug of war between families and how it bleeds into planning. my advice is to tell your parents that while you and your Fiance are soooo grateful for your parents’ generosity, you’re both going to pull back your involvement from any drama that affects your relatinoship with your Fiance b/c you don’t want your feelings of loyalty to your individual families to hurt your marriage. one final (hug) for going through this.
Post # 10
We will have both of our families, our wedding party and their SO, and our out of town guests. We have a lot of people coming from Europe so they will be invited too.
We are going to have the rehearsal dinner at my parents house so we are able to accommodate a lot of people.