Post # 1
Member
2693 posts
Sugar bee
FI’s family has a pretty small and not-at-all flexible amount of money they can use to hose the rehearsal dinner. We are grateful they are willing to pay for it, but we’re having trouble figuring out the best way to do this.
We have a large bridal party, several other members of my family that are musts for the guest list (such as my aunt and uncle who, as our wedding gift, are designing and purchasing our centerpieces and the flowers needed for them), which means our guest list will probably be upwards of 50 people. While look at options, it’s seeming that alcohol is not going to be in the budget.
Fiance is mortified by this, and I am too but if they can’t afford it, there’s nothing we can do. A cheaper option would be to get some drink tickets at our venue. Is this tacky? I know alchohol should be provided for the rehearsal, but with such a little amount of money, our hands are sort of tied. Fiance is just really upset that we’re not going to be able to offer our guests drinks. I would never dream of doing drink tickets normally, but if this is a compromise, is it okay? I can’t decide if I would be put-off if I were given tix for drinks at a rehearsal if I was in the wedding.
Although we did attend a rehearsal and reception that were alcohol-free which was also rude, in my opinion. That was not due to budgetary restrictions.
Help!!
Post # 3
Member
13943 posts
Honey Beekeeper
I have decided that I’m not using the word tacky anymore — BUT, I don’t like the idea of drink tickets. It reminds me of college job fair recruitment techniques (two glasses of wine, don’t forget your tickets!). Either have a dry reception, provide beer/wine, or somehow figure out how to do the open bar. Just my opinion…!
Post # 4
Member
5473 posts
Bee Keeper
It is a little tacky… is it possible that you guys could pitch in and help fill the gap in their budget or is that completely out of the question?
We are on a budget as well, and we are also hosting our own Rehearsal Dinner, so we decided to go to a local favorite pizza joint & provide pitchers of beer as well. That is what we can afford so that is what we will provide!
Post # 5
Member
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
I just wouldn’t pay for alcohol at the rehearsal. Really do they need to have free drinks two nights in a row?
Post # 6
Member
2693 posts
Sugar bee
@DaneLady: Fiance and I haven’t talked about covering any subsequent costs, and we’re definitely not using any of the wedding budget from my parents. I think you’re both right about it being a little off-putting. I hate the idea of having to do it, but I was just trying to brainstorm ideas that would allow us to have alcohol without going over budget. I think it’s a good idea to do something like you’re doing…informal and fun while still having some alcohol for people to enjoy.
Post # 7
Member
2693 posts
Sugar bee
@abbie017: Just to clarify, this is the rehearsal dinner, not the reception. We have lots of fun cocktails and beer and wine for the reception…I wouldn’t dream of having drink tickets/no alcohol at our actual reception!!
Post # 8
Member
2693 posts
Sugar bee
@MrsSaltWaterTaffy: That’s also kind of my line of thinking. I don’t know…it’s difficult territory for me becasue Future In-Laws are hosting. My parents are the type of hosts that just….go all out. They would never dream of having guests pay for things at a party/event they were hosting, and seeing that growing up, I feel the same way. I like to be the best host possible and that means providing alcohol for my guests. But my parents are in a very, very different financial situation than the Future In-Laws.
Post # 9
Member
412 posts
Helper bee
I personally don’t think it is “tacky” at all. The rehersal dinner does not need to be as big and fancy as the wedding. People should also not expect an open bar at a rehersal dinner. That is just going over board. You rehersal dinner should be all people that you are close to and family therefore they should not look at drink tickets as tacky. You are close with these people and they will understand that you are doing what you can afford. I wouldn’t worry about it at all. If someone is going to think you are “tacky” for paying for them to have a couple drinks with drink tickets then I believe they are shallow. Just my thoughts…. 🙂
Post # 10
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
Can you do just beer and wine?? If that doesn’t fit in the budget I say do drink tickets. PERSONALLY, I would rather have a couple of free drinks than NO free drinks and a dry rehearsal dinner. That’s just me though 🙂
Post # 11
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
If you could afford drink tickets, could you afford maybe a bottle of wine or two on each table? Or maybe just a glass of champagne for each person? I feel like either of these options would be better than drink tickets, JMO.
Post # 12
Member
2701 posts
Sugar bee
@MrsSaltWaterTaffy: I was going to say this exact thing. Just make it a cash bar.
Post # 13
Member
5788 posts
Bee Keeper
I don’t see why you can’t tell the waiter that you want to run a bar tab and cover the drinks yourselves at the end. I’m sure your FIL’s wouldn’t be insulted by the gesture, and the dinner will only be probably 2 hours long, so how much could it cost if each person has a drink or two? That’s what I’d do.
Post # 14
Member
5473 posts
Bee Keeper
Maybe just host champagne? What kind of restaurant is it? If it’s pretty formal then you guys could buy everyone a round or just provide one type of drink… if it’s in a restaurant and the guests aren’t pleased with what is provided, they can probably walk over to the bar and purchase something on their own. If the restaurant is a little less formal, then maybe see if you could buy a few bottles of wine to have on the table? When it’s gone it’s gone kind of arrangement?
Post # 15
Member
2693 posts
Sugar bee
@ItWasntMe: Personally, Fiance and I don’t have the ability to cover the bar tab for 50+ people even if it is just a couple of hours. We’re paying for a honeymoon so that’s eating up what funds we did have to put towards wedding things.
@les105: we looked into that, the venue we’re hoping to use won’t do that. Unsure why. They also wouldn’t charge us a corkage fee and let us bring our own wine.
Post # 16
Member
5473 posts
Bee Keeper
@les105: Hah! I didn’t see your response before I posted… you must type faster than I do 🙂