- 10 years ago
Just have to vent a bit. We are hosting and paying completely for the wedding of our daughter (just graduating from college) and her fiance (same situation.) The reception will be a seated dinner (unusual for our location, but what we grew up doing in the northeast) and we figure there will be approximately 280 people or so.
We told the groom’s family that they could invited up to 150 people (generous by anyone’s standards, I believe) but the MOG immediately objected, saying it wasn’t enough, as they wished to invited the 60+ employees/spouses who work for her husband. I stood my ground, explaining that we had both space and budget considerations. (She actually suggested to dd’s fiance that we look into holding the reception somewhere else that could accommodate more people! In fact, there is nowhere larger here.) She mentioned possibly inviting them to the rehearsal dinner, which she and her husband will host; I was horrified, and pointed out calmly that the accepted way to entertain people who don’t make the cut of the wedding invitation list is to hold a post-honeymoon party, removed from the actual wedding weekend festivites. In one ear and out the other, apparently, as she went ahead and invited them all anyway. At last count, the rehearsal dinner list was up to 170 people, about half of them not invited to the wedding…and I heard she plans a gift table!!! Dd’s fiance has spoken to her, saying that this is not what he and dd want, but…to no avail.
The latest is this; she emailed me wanting a copy of our invitation list, so she could make sure that certain "mutual friends" had been invited; if not, she would send rehearsal dinner invitations to them, too. I replied that we had invited, of those "mutual friends" (acquaintances, really) those with whom my daughter was still in touch and who were important to us. I pointed out once again that the rehearsal dinner is not the place for folks not invited to the actual wedding and reception, and that I could not cooperate with her wishes. I figure that if they weren’t important enough to make the list of 150, I am not going to lose sleep!
This has ruined the rehearsal dinner for the couple, who wanted something low key and intimate, rather than the extravaganza it has become. So, the night before, they will hold, at our home, a casual "shrimp boil" for their attendants and a few close friends.
Has anyone else encountered a situation like this? I am constantly amazed.