(Closed) Rehearsal Dinner – Groom’s family not coming

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

It is unfortunate that your Future Father-In-Law has chosen to let his animosity towards his ex-wife affect his relationship with his son.  He is completely wrong here, but I’m afraid that there is very little you can do.

Your FH should ask his brother and sister calmly and directly if they will be attending so there can be a head count.  I wouldn’t bother to pressure anyone to come, since if the relationship between the exes is acrimonious, the less time everyone spends together,  the less likely you are to have a huge confrontation.   

Post # 4
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I agree.  Also, is it that he couldn’t stomach to see his ex, or that he is just trying to keep from making waves, especially since his ex wife (your FMIL) is paying for it. 

Also, as far as weddings go, the FOG gets pretty much no limelight.  He’s not really needed at the rehearsal, (unless you’re planning something special).  So he might not be that inot it.  (Although I agree he should be there to show support….)

Has your Fiance asked his mom what she thinks?  If she is paying and is rather relieved not to have him, maybe it’s for the best.  But if she is happy to have him come to support his son, then maybe your Fiance should talk to him agian, (or perhaps FI’s mom??)

Good luck.

Post # 6
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I’m sorry for your Fiance.  Why dad’s would want to hurt their children is beyond me. … I hope they can work it out.

Good luck.

Post # 7
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

That’s very coragous of your Future Mother-In-Law to invite her ex.  I hope it works out, but if not know that you’ll have many more around you that love you. 

I have a similar situation, sort of.  My Future Mother-In-Law will not be coming to our wedding because of past issues with my FH’s dad’s side of the family (dad won’t even be there because he died 6 years ago).  She can’t get [ast the bad divorce.  http://snowflakeswedding.blogspot.com/2009/04/disappointment.html

Hope it works out

Post # 8
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Wow – I am really sorry to learn that is the cause – that is extremely hurtful and immature behavior.  Unfortunately, there is still very little you can do.  It is going to be really hard for you, but you will need to step aside and let your Fiance decide how he wants to manage his relationship with his dad.  It might be more important to your Fiance to keep his dad in his life and negotiate with him, or he might want to distance himself.  Either way, you want it to be his call so that when  his father is gone, he will know that he handled the situation the best way he could.

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