Post # 1
I began discussing the rehearsal dinner with both sets of parents and not really sure what to do. My Father-In-Law are hosting the rehearsal dinner. They are pretty much open to what me and Fiance want. We are planning a causal BBQ at the mountain resort where the wedding will be the next night. Everyone is traveling so we don’t have a family or friends house to host at.
Just counting the wedding party, their dates, parents, and grandparents we have about 32 people. After talking about it with my parents (who are paying for the entire wedding reception) my mom really wants her 2 sisters and my dad really wants his 2 out of town friends (he just attended the ones daughters rehearsal dinner).
If we include just aunts and uncles on both sides (no cousins) and then 4-6 out of town friends on each side we are at about 50. Father-In-Law are okay with the number but Future Mother-In-Law said if she invited her sister she would want her niece and husband and so on with cousins, and Future Father-In-Law said he cannot keep his friends list to 4-6. He said its either all or none.
SO this leaves us to the big question of what to do we do? Keep it small and intimate (what the Fiance wants) and upset my parents who are helping us out so much OR invite more people and take the risk of the snowball affect and a huge guest list (total invite list to the wedding is 120)???
Post # 3
We are having everyone to our but we are not expecting more than 60 ppl to come to the BBQ. We are doing at as a welcome to Pictou were glad you could make it type of thing.
Post # 4
From everything I’ve learned on these boards (thank you Bees!) the rehearsal dinner is for those participating in the ceremony as well as the SIs of those people. Other family members and those coming in from out-of-town are not included.
Would it hurt anyone’s feelings to keep the actual rehearsal dinner small, like you planned, and then invite everyone else out for cocktails after? A rehearsal dinner really should be a thank-you to those taking time out of their lives to be in your wedding, not a giant family affair – that’s what the wedding is for. 🙂
Post # 5
Could you keep the original rehearsal dinner guest list and then open it up to more people for welcome drinks afterward or something like that?
Post # 6
@Ms. Blue: We must have been writing at the same time! Great minds think alike. 😉
Post # 7
We are planning on including a little note in the welcome bag to let everyone know we will be at this local bar for drinks that evening BUT my parents didn’t seem to think this was enough for those few people on their side.
Post # 8
@VermontBride13: since your parents are hosting the entire wedding reception, i think it would be a nice gesture to open it up to the four extra people they’ve asked you to include.
Post # 9
Can you do a cheap dessert “wecome” reception after the rehearsal dinner? Maybe just dessert and coffee for a small cost?
We are having a Rehearsal Dinner with our bridal party and their SO’s, my parents, and Fiance parents/grandparents, then following our Rehearsal Dinner, we are having a “welcome” cocktail reception for all Out of Town guests (which is a significant portion of our wedding)
So, maybe you can consider that?