Post # 1
Here’s the deal. I had an exchange student from France stay with my family back when I was in high school. My family has remained close with her and her family ever since. She (let’s call her M) is going to be coming to my wedding in the USA with her long term boyfriend. I also have a lot of extended family coming from England. My fiancé has met M maybe two times over the course of the 8 years we have been together. My fiancé and I also have many friends coming to our wedding from all over the states and even some other countries.
Now for the dilemma. We are trying to keep our rehearsal dinner relatively small and decided to keep it to bridal party, immediate family, and family traveling from out of town. My parents think we should invite M and her boyfriend to the rehearsal dinner. My fiancé thinks that is unfair since we aren’t even including our friends traveling from out of town. My parents argue that since M and her boyfriend will be staying in a house with my English extended family, they should be included. My fiancé feels that we have compromised on many things elsewhere and this is his last straw. I just don’t know what to think. I want everyone to be happy, but at this point I feel as though whatever conclusion we come to, someone is going to feel defeated and frustrated.
Any advice or sympathy would be much appreciated! Thanks!
This topic was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by meroberts.
Post # 2
Well since you’re already including out of town family, and they will be staying with those people, and are closer to family since she lived with you, then yes I think they should be included at the dinner. You don’t have to include any out of town family though, we aren’t it’d be way too many, but another option would just be to keep it wedding party and parents/siblings only.
Post # 3
- Wedding: Davis Island Garden Club
I think you don’t invite her. It would be a nice sentiment to invite her, but I find the best way to be fair is to draw a line and stick to it. If you are inviting bridal party, immediate family, and family from out of town she doesn’t make the cut. It’s the best way to be fair.
i had a similar disagreement over our rehearsal dinner guest list. I opted to do a lunch earlier in the day and invite all out of towners to meet up (lunch is at there own expense) and only have bridal party and immediate family at the rehearsal dinner.
Post # 4
Your family was her “host family,” so I think she (and her SO) can be counted among out-of-town extended family. I would invite her.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA
If your fiance is saying this is really his last straw and he’s putting his foot down after compromising on everything else, why not respect that? He’s allowed to have a say, too.
Post # 6
If everyone else in the house with M and her boyfriend is going to the rehearsal dinner, then I think you should invite them. It would be awkward for them to be left behind.