(Closed) Rehearsal dinner guests

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
14 posts
Newbee

We’re inviting the significant others but we only have 6 attendants total and we knew all the significant others.  I don’t think significant others expect to be invited, and your closest friends (your wedding party) will understand one way or the other.  Don’t stress about it!

Post # 4
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think it’s courteous and best to invite everyone, but if you can’t, just tell them politely. Don’t invite anyone’s SO’s, Fi’s, or spouses, because if you show anyone favoritism, it will hurt other’s feelings.

Post # 5
Member
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

If people are traveling any distance where they will have to be staying overnight in a hotel I think its only courteous to invite their SOs to the Rehearsal Dinner. I would not feel okay with telling a friend, Future Sister-In-Law or Future Brother-In-Law they could not bring their spouse or for that matter their Fiance or serious bf/gf !

Post # 6
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I personally am not a big fan of people excluding spouses and SO’s from things.  I’d look for a different location if there’s a limit on the number of people that can be accommodated.

Post # 7
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

i’ve heard that it is common courtesy to include significant others in the rehearsal dinner.

Post # 8
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think it is most appropriate to invite the SO’s of the bridal party members.  If they are attending the rehearsal and then the dinner (particularly if they are from out of town), you don’t really want to leave that person alone with nothing to do while their SO is at your rehearsal.  I would try to get a different location if it is feasible.  If you really have no choice and cannot invite the SOs, you have to say no to all of them or it will look like you are picking favorites.  I personally would not really feel comfortable with not inviting the SO’s to the Rehearsal Dinner though…

Post # 9
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

We aren’t including the SOs; however, we are not excluding them either. We are leaving it up to our wedding party as to whether or not they want to include them or not. We are having it at our home, so space is not an issue, but travel back and forth may be an issue.

Post # 10
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I actually don’t have the budget to invite all of my wedding party’s SO’s, nor do I have the budget to invite any out of town guests.  My entire wedding party including the bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girl, ring bearer, moms, brothers involved and grandparents amount to 20 people.  In order to treat them to a nice thank you dinner I can’t invite anyone else.  So  I decided to have a dinner for them immediately following the rehearsal and then having a welcome party after dinner at my mom’s house for all of the out of town guests and the wedding party and their spouses (if they should choose to come).  We will be serving desserts and drinks and just be able to catch up and spend a little time together before the wedding day.

I know this goes against what everyone above me has said but I have to do what I have to do.  If I had the money for it, I would definitely invite all of the spouses and out of town guests to the rehearsal dinner.

Post # 11
Member
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Instead of having 2 separate parties why dont you just combine the two? You say you dont have the budget to feed everyone but then you are also having a welcome party for all Out of Town guests and bridal party SOs? I would just nix the intimate dinner and do it with everyone that you were planning to have at the welcome party. Then you arent spending any more money than you were going to on the welcome party anyways! And i guarantee that your friends/family that have SOs will be very appreciative that they dont have to leave them at home!

Post # 12
Member
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

We’re having a small rehearsal dinner – parents, intermediate family, wedding party and SO’s, along with other ceremony participants. I know I’m going to get a lot of flack from my Aunt who invited us to her son’s rehearsal dinner last year, but our headcount is already at 36 for the dinner, and that’s plenty! Plus, about 80% of guests are coming in from out of town, so unless we want to do a pre-wedding reception, we have to limit it unforturnately.

 

Post # 13
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I definitely think that it would be nice if your included them.  I’m not sure the etiquette rules on this, but I’m sure your attendants will be a little put off if you don’t include their significant others in the invite for the rehearsal dinner.  We invited our attendants significant others, but we were lucky in that we only had a Maid of Honor and Best Man, so that’s only two extra people.

Post # 14
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Well as far as the rehearsal dinner, I got a $100 gift certificate from restaurant.com for one of our very good restaurants.  That will cover about 1/3 of the total cost for 20 people.  My budget for the rehearsal dinner is $300, while the welcome party will be hosted by my mom.  A year ago she put a deposit on a club that I wanted to have my wedding at.  As time went on I changed my mind and completely changed my plans.  The deposit was non-refundable but they are letting us use it to purchase the desserts for the welcome party.  Also, my Fiance is very intent on taking the wedding party out to a nice dinner as a thank you for what they are doing.  This was the best way to please everyone.

Post # 15
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think that if budget is your main concern, go with a more casual rehearsal dinner rather than cutting out spouses and significant others.  Our rehearsal dinner is at a pub… We’re having pizza and beer.  Our wedding and reception is very formal, so we both really wanted something low key the night before to relax before the big day (we’re happiest in a t-shirt and jeans).  I would feel put off if my husband was in someone’s wedding and I was excluded from the rehearsal dinner.  I probably wouldn’t want him to go to it, especially if we were out of town… would I order room service and stay in the hotel alone while he was gone?  People spend a lot of time and money as a member of your wedding party… the least you can do is show your appreciation by inviting their significant other to the rehearsal dinner.

Post # 16
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I am including them but I have a small wedding party. All the parents are coming as well. I think it is appropriate to invite the SO’s and try to figure something else out about space…

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