(Closed) Rehearsal dinner help

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
47377 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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mrsmisky:  We kept it pretty traditional, so we could focus on thanking our wedding party and our parents.

wedding party and their SO’s

parents

grandparents

siblings and their SO’s

we invited the officiant but he had another function.

Some couples invite their out of town guests to join them, either for the dinner or later for drinks/coffee. If you want to do that and can afford it, it’s certainly a nice thing to do, but for many couples it would mean duplicating the wedding guestlist. It’s a nice-to-do, not a must-do.

Post # 3
Member
4063 posts
Honey bee

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mrsmisky:  aside from those you already mentioned, the officiant and Out of Town guests are usually invited (if you can afford to host all of them)

Post # 4
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

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mrsmisky: I’ve seen three general schools here: first, is the smaller type of guest list that you describe (anyone who particpated in the rehearsal (with their partners), and very close family).

I checked Miss Manners’ Guide before composing this reply and was somewhat surprised to see that she suggests inviting anyone who participated in the rehearsal as well as family members more broadly construed (she responds to a Mother of the Groom who wants to know whether she should invite her sister–thus, the groom’s aunt–to the dinner by suggesting that she should invite her sister).

Other people even argue that guests who are coming in from out of town (unless almost all the guests are doing so) should be invited so that they aren’t alone/don’t have to scramble for dinner, etc. 

Of course, the whole matter is tricky because, as Miss Manners points out, some extended relatives or out of town guests might see an invite to the rehearsal dinner as more of an imposition (“Gosh, another thing that I have to dress up for?  I had a long trip in; I just want to sit in my hotel room and eat Burger King…”).

Post # 5
Member
3610 posts
Sugar bee

I think it would be nice to include Out of Town guests and extended family if you can find room in your budget. You get to have fun with your friends and family, they feel included, and it drums up excitement for your wedding the next day.

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