(Closed) Rehearsal dinner help…how to ask/frustrated

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3267 posts
Sugar bee

There is no polite way to ask someone else to host/organize a party for you. 

But that mean you have to have something extravagant. there is no reason you cannot just go to a local pizza joint and order a few pies, with only those directly involves in the rehersal.

Post # 4
747 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We haven’t heard anything either so basically we are just doing what we can afford. Depending on how many we will either just order pizza or go out for Thai.

Post # 5
5001 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would have your Fiance ask them. If he doesn’t want to or they don’t want to host it, either you skip it or do out yourself. My FI’s parents are divorced and not well off financially, so we didn’t even ask them, we are just doing a low key one ourselves.

Post # 6
46421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@shanbp:  Although you don’t normally ask someone to host a party, sometimes you just have to be a little more realistic and practical.

Too many families walk around on tiptoes afraid to say anything in case someone is offended and that just causes more troubles and frustration for everyone.

If you live in an area where it is tradtional for the groom’s family to host the Rehearsal Dinner, I would get your Fiance to ask his parents if they are planning on hosting the dinner. He can phrase it that you are completely ready and willing to do it yourself, but you don’t want to step on their toes if they do want to host the dinner. They may be planning on doing it, but are just a little slower to get down to the nitty gritty.

Post # 7
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014


 Here is what I recommend.  Since you don’t really want to ask someone to do it for you, you could start mentioning some ideas you have for the rehearsal dinner.  Make sure you talk about it around your Future Mother-In-Law.  See if she offers to help or what she has to say.  If she doesn’t say anything, then you know you are on your own.  If she offers to help, let her know that you REALLY appreciate it.  If no one else offers help, and you know you don’t have much time, cater the food into wherever you are having the rehearsal dinner.  Or you can go to a steakhouse and everyone can order what they want and then you are all done.  Just find a place, call ahead and let them know how many tables or sections you want put aside for you.  But be sure to check in with the place before rehearsal to make sure they still have your tables put aside. 


Most people want to help you out in some way and are waiting for you to ask them, even though you would think it should be the other way around when it’s your wedding.  Some will feel offended if you don’t ask them to join you in the planning. 








Best of luck!   








Post # 8
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It sounds like if they haven’t mentioned it, they do not wish to plan it or pay for it.  I think you will just have to take care of it yourself.  Maybe your Fiance could take the lead.  Rehearsal dinners are super easy to plan, I’m sure it wouldn’t take a lot of your time.  Mine was done all over the phone. 

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