(Closed) Rehearsal dinner invitation. Is this a big deal?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
3470 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

Is there a way to include an insert (like directons to the restaurant or something) where you can include a line “And a special thanks to our hosts _______!” 

If not, then I’d just mention it to them and see if they have an issue with it, just let them know it’s an oversight and ask if they’d prefer to go back to the word of mouth plan.  

Post # 3
2805 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I think its fine. Don’t think too much into it. The only people who *might* notice will be your Future In-Laws… but do you even know if they care? Every Rehearsal Dinner I’ve had to go to has been word of mouth anyway, so I don’t think people will be looking too much into the invites other than the time and place. 

IF this is really weighing heavily on your mind ask Fiance to mention to your parents that you meant to put it on there but forgot and see if they say anything or want them changed. I really can’t imagine them caring enough to want them reprinted. BUT- you know them best. 

Post # 4
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I believe that where the rsvps are returned to indicated who is hosting. I wouldn’t think its a big deal you forgot, but you could always explain/aplogize to your inlaws and ask them how they feel? They might not care. 

Post # 5
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Since your in laws are sending them, I don’t see the issue in forgetting it.

Post # 6
1210 posts
Bumble bee

gatsbymermaid:  I don’t think I have seen any Rehearsal Dinner invites that mention who is hosting it. Usually I just assume its the groom’s parents, unless its mailed from someone else. 

A nice way to make sure everyone is aware is to have you and your husband do a small toast at the dinner, thanking your ILs for hosting such a lovely meal.

Post # 7
2465 posts
Buzzing bee

Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law will be greeting guests at the venue. At some point, you and your groom will stand and ask for everyone’s attention and thank “Jim’s mom and dad, who are hosting this lovely evening”

Post # 8
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

gatsbymermaid:  sore subject for me, but I’ll answer anyway! 🙂

I intentionally omitted my in-laws’ names from the Rehearsal Dinner invite for a few reasons:

1) my in laws were very specific about what they were and were not going to spend; my parents ended up paying the venue fee because my ILs (condescendingly) deemed that our town shouldn’t be so expensive. I knew I would get sh!t if I included both sets of parents, but I couldn’t in good conscience omit mine — so none it was!

2) my Mother-In-Law did NOTHING to plan/execute the event. I did all the contracting and legwork, my aunts executed the event the day-of. She snarked and complained the whole time…

Bottom line is that my Mother-In-Law in particular acted like the Rehearsal Dinner was the biggest inconvenience for her. If it sucks that much, I won’t tax you even more by plopping your name on the invitations (that I paid for and embossed by hand).  

Post # 9
2178 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

ann.reid.9277:  exactly – it’s easily handled by Darling Husband saying a quick word to thank Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law for hosting this great night! I agree that people will notice where it is mailed and RSVP’ed to as well and it is traditional for the groom family to host so many people might expect it either way…..


I definitely would not do an insert or something like that – if it’s really an issue then either don’t send them or reprint (but again I think it’s totally fine)

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