Post # 1
- Wedding: October 2021 - Wyckoff, NJ
Started discussing the Rehearsal Dinner Guest list with my Future Mother-In-Law & Fiance this weekend. I wanted to inquire about the etiquette on who to invite to the dinner.
My Fiance thinks that anyone having to travel, even if they are driving up the same day via car gets invited. I think it’s guests who are further out of town and are staying in the hotel or with family/friends nearby.
Our rehearsal dinner is going to be the Thursday before our Saturday wedding and it actually falls on Halloween. Unfortunately, our venue can’t accommodate us on that Friday as they have another event. I’m thinking the fact that it’s a Thursday may make it complicated for some guests.
I’d love your thoughts and ideas!!
Post # 3
@FutureMrsLadolcetta: I think the fact that it’s 2 days before the wedding instead of 1 should really help you limit your guest list. A lot of people who are traveling, especially those who are just driving, won’t want to come 2 days early.
We are just inviting the wedding party and our immediate family (and significant others for both), plus 2-4 out-of-town guests who coming from overaseas. We’ll have a small, informal gathering the morning after the wedding and possibly the night before that will include the same people plus all of the other out-of-town guests who want to attend. When I’m an out-of-town guest at a wedding, I find it more convenient to attend a morning-after event, since I’m already there and we can talk about how great the wedding was and I might have met some people, instead of a rehearsal dinner that requires me to arrive early.
Post # 4
we are inviting all family, bridal party, and any guests staying overnight on friday for our saturday wedding. if out of town guests aren’t coming in until saturday morning or afternoon, they are not invited.
Post # 5
Most of our guest are out of town flying in or driving distance a couple of hours so it would cost a lot of money. We are doing a rehearsal lunch instead includes only bridal party, parents, grandparents, and our siblings last minute addition on my part. Then we my uncle is hosting a welcome partyat 6:30 , as that is a more affordable way to feed the guest and anyone who wants to come in town and out of towners are welcome.
Post # 5
It was easy with daughter #1s rehearsal dinner; it was held a week earlier, due to scheduling difficulties with the bridal party (another wedding was the same weekend as hers).
For daughter #2, everyone is coming from out of town – it’s a local destination wedding, between the bride’s and groom’s family – either 3.5 or 1.5 hours away. We expect that 95% of the guests will arrive the day of the wedding, and not the day before, to attend a rehearsal dinner. Since his parents are on a budget we haven’t discussed adding to the list. They’re only inviting those people who will be participating in the wedding – bridal party and their SO, readers, parents, and my mother, who is renting a hotel room for two nights, so the ladies of the bridal party can store their gear and get dressed there. Two of the 4 hotels, where we have room blocks have free breakfast buffets, for their guests; I’m assuming that will provide ample time for the people staying there to get together.
I learned from a friend that her nephew married a gal from TX, in PA – the groom’s hometown and the couple’s residence. The brides parents insisted the groom’s parents pay for all their out of town guests to eat, at the rehearsal dinner, so they scrambled to find a place. It cost them $13,000 for food and beverage for 125 people and they were quite frustrated, with the demands. My friend/his aunt (and possible godmother?) didn’t attend, since other in-town guests might expect to be added. Maybe it’s a southern tradition, I don’t know? I never heard of it, until a niece was married in Florida and some of my family attended.
I certainly don’t think it’s necessary to make a big deal of it. I wouldn’t want to spent day after day with strangers, or with in-laws I’d rather avoid.