Rehearsal Dinner Invite Wording- Help!

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
47189 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

insomniacplanner :  Fiance needs to grow up. His Dad and stepmom are, in fact, hosting the Rehearsal Dinner and the invitations should go out in their names, just like the wedding invitations went out in your parents’ names. If his Mom is also hosting, she should also be included.

Otherwise, time for him to get over having a stepmom.

Post # 3
Member
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Do his dad and stepmom view themselves as paying for the rehearsal dinner together? If so I don’t see how you can get around leaving her off without it being rude to her because she is hosting.

What is your FI’s reasoning for wanting to leave her off?

Post # 4
Member
34 posts
Newbee

If his dad and stepmom are paying, his dad and stepmom go on the invitation either together or not at all.

Post # 6
Member
1495 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

insomniacplanner :  I understand the reasoning and I am sorry for his loss but I don’t think anyone should be upset. It’s not “shout out” it’s a recognition of who is contributing for the dinner. If his aunt was paying he’d have to list her name. I think if he feels so strongly about this maybe he should speak with his father and see what he wants to do about it.

Post # 7
Member
8831 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

insomniacplanner :  It’s very sad that your husband lost his mom, but that has nothing to do with the fact that his dad and stepmom are both hosting the Rehearsal Dinner. If he doesn’t like that fact, he’s welcome to decline their generous offer to host it for you. That would be a slap in the face to his dad and there could be consequences of making that decision, but your finace is an adult.

Also, why would you be sending these invitations anyway? The host and hostess should be sending them with whatever wording they want.

Post # 9
Member
8831 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

insomniacplanner :  Invitations are functional. They give people information about the event. That’s all. They tell people who is hosting, what they are celebrating, when, and where. That’s it. They aren’t meant to “honor” people or say anything about who raised you. If your fiance’s dad and stepmom are hosting, that needs to be put on the invitation. I know he must be very sad that his mom is not here for this special time in his life, but trying to keep his stepmom’s name off the invitation for an event she is hosting, is childish and petty and he doesn’t have a leg to stand on in this regard. If he doesn’t want her to host it, he needs to tell his dad “thanks but no thanks” to them paying for it.

Post # 10
Member
47189 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

insomniacplanner :  What period of time does your Fiance think is acceptable for his dad to have remained a lonely widower? Obviously one year was not enough! Two years? Five years? 10 years?

Fiance needs to put aside his feelings of loss for his Mom, which are truly understandable, and instead be happy that his Dad has found someone who makes him happy.

If Fiance refuses to word the invitations correctly, your only choice is to decline their contribution and pay for the Rehearsal Dinner yourselves. Before he chooses that, he should have a serious look at the repercussions of making that decision.

 

Post # 11
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee

Here’s a sample wording:

“Mr. and Mrs. FI’s Dad request the pleasure of your company at a rehearsal dinner in honor of insomniacplanner and Fiance.”

OR

“You’re invited to a rehearsal dinner in honor of insomniacplanner and Fiance hosted by the FI’s last name family.”

Post # 13
Member
1604 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Fiance needs to talk to his dad.  I think that the important thing is not to identify fiance as “their son.”   Many older couples on second marriage do not combine finances, so it may be “their” money.  If it is, I think the invite should say, Mr and Mrs blah blah invite you to the Rehearsal Dinner for John and Mary. 

 

Good luck.

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors