(Closed) Rehearsal Dinner Invites?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We’re doing printed invitations! They’ll be casual and we’re designing and printing them ourselves to cut costs. RSVPs will be by phone and email so that’ll cut down on costs, too 🙂

Post # 4
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

My Mother-In-Law did the invites since she hosted and she had nice, but not expensive preprinted invites mailed.

I was in another party that had a flyer ( printerpaper printed invite) mailed to us for a more casual rehearsal dinner.

I think the invite, to a degree, should match the dinnerr. If its a formal dinner a nice printed (but cheap) invite will suffice. If its a BBQ in your backyard an evite will suffice if everyone is technology savy.

Post # 5
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We’re also doing formal invitations.  I got 60 invitations for about $40-50 from wedding paper divas. RSVP is by phone or email too.

Post # 6
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My Future Father-In-Law and F(step)MIL took care of the whole thing, and they did bought invitations filled in by hand – kind of a nice medium between formal invites and word of mouth. 

Post # 7
1699 posts
Bumble bee

@MsMango83:  Years ago, during my initial eye-opening exposure to wedding boards (!!!) a bride asked whether her parents should send written invitations to her future inlaws for the getting-to-know-you dinner they planned to host. The consensus was that written formal invitations would be “weird”.

Now, I routinely invite guests to dinner and when I do I generally hand-write a formal invitation on my own plain white stationery in black ink and attractive cursive script (which, I hear, is being discontinued in public elementary schools, alas.) My opinion can therefore be discounted as being “weird”. On the other hand, when I invite the gang over for a barbecue in the back garden, I routinely shotgun out an e-vite and expect people to show up in jeans and hoodies. I am simply following the twin rules that:

1) Your style of invitation should be consistent with the style of party, and

2) The style of party should be consistent with the social norms for the community in which you live your daily life.

The most special events of your life (such as weddings) should of course be celebrated with the highest of the social norms prevailing in your social circle, but should not pretend to adopt artificially fancy forms that are completely alien to your day-to-day life. If no-one in your social circle has worn a “tux” (shudder) since they last rented one for their grad, then a white-tie wedding would probably be pretentious. If the thought of sending a formal invitation for a sit-down dinner feels “weird”, you should probably aspire to something a little less formal for your rehearsal dinner. As far as formality goes, you have (in descending order of stuffiness:)

  • hand-written black-ink third-person conventional wording
  • engraved write-in invitations or all-engraved invitations
  • casual hand-written notes
  • printed invitations on coloured paper with innovative wording
  • phonecalls
  • e-vites, flyers and brochures

As far as propriety goes, as long as they make it clear when and where and who is invited, and get into the guests’ hands on a timely basis, you can pick whichever one suits your style.

Post # 9
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

We just called people.  Initiall my Future Mother-In-Law wanted to host something, but she has been so hostile that we haven’t spoken to her a little over three months.  My fiance and I are paying for the rehersal, so we’re only inviting people who have a role in the wedding (meaning my immediate family and his dad, who is best man, and his dad’s wife, who is his stepmom).  

The way you invite is up to you, but since we’re only having 16 total people including us, we went the informal route.

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