(Closed) Rehearsal Dinner – Issues with who to invite

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Don’t invite the grandparents. It’s not necessary that they are there.

Post # 4
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Technically grandparents are not included in the “must invite” list but we are inviting ours. For your situation, I would forego inviting the grandparents just to make things easier on you. 

Post # 5
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would never imagine not inviting my grandmother and my FI’s grandparents’ to any wedding related event.  I would say that none of your aunts or uncles would think twice about her needing to come since the grandmother is the primary caretaker.  I do not think you need to worry about providing any special provisions for the Aunt.  If it will be an issue for her to be there and be able to get around, then your Fiance and his family will have to deal with it, not you.

Post # 6
46680 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with mcnetn3: I would invite her but let his family make any necessary arrangements.

Post # 7
427 posts
Helper bee

From what I know of from experience, the bridal party and anyone involved in the wedding are the ones invited to the rehearsal dinner. That is what a rehearsal dinner is; you go over the wedding ceremony details. Anyone that was not involved in the wedding would most likely be bored and just be there for the food and entertainment. Just my opinion 🙂

Post # 8
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would probably skip the grandparents. Are they playing some role in the ceremony where they need to be a the rehersal? If no, I would not invite them. If your grandparents are very special to you and you would like to include them, then I say invite the grandma and the aunt–the rest of the aunts and uncles will understand why that one aunt was included.

Post # 9
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

It’s up to you whether you want the grandparents there or not, but I agree with you that if the Aunty is invited there will probably be other Auntys and Uncles that are not invited who may feel hurt.  Perhaps discuss the grandparents issue with your Fiance. 

Post # 10
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I would invite her, and the grandparents. My husband doesn’t have any grandparents left, but he does have a great aunt who is pretty much treated as a grandma. Because of that, we invite her when we invite the grandparents.

I would just let them know that it’s a lot of walking and their options so they can make arrangements, or delicate to your Mother-In-Law to do that.

Post # 11
4824 posts
Honey bee

Agree with many pps, invite her and the aunt because this is not worth the fight or repercussions. You will only come out looking bad if that is what the family expects.  We are inviting the one surviving gram and an aunt who will “take care of her” but none of the other bajillion aunts and uncles in the family.  Everyone understands.

And look into renting or borrowing a wheel chair. I think that is a fine idea.  Ask the restaurant what they normally do for people with handicaps. They may have some accomodation you dont know about yet.

Post # 12
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I would invite the Aunt and grandparents.  The rest of the aunts and uncles are no longer children and should understand the exception.  I can’t imagine not having my grandmothers at everything.

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