(Closed) Rehearsal Dinner. No input from the Bride/Groom?

posted 9 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

It’s not really normal, but I’ve seen it happen. Maybe she wants it to be a big surprise? Maybe she hasn’t really been good about planning, so she doesn’t want to let on? Just tell her about your aunts and wanting to let people know the details by a certain date. She should understand that.

Post # 5
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Well, even if she IS hosting, she got a say in who got invited to the wedding, right? Sorry, you can’t say Bridal Party only and tweak it for yourself. That being said, my Mother-In-Law invited all her sibligns and their SO’s which ended up being mroe thaN I originally wanted, but hey, it was fun. I invited my Out of Town aunt and her bf, too. b/c it’s only right in my opinion. And gparents are usually included, by the way, so even if her dad and step mom aren’t in the wedding, that’s normal. I’d definitely mention, subtly, that she got to invite a lot of peopel to the wedding and all your asking for are your two aunts. Call her back up and say, “look i know you want to keep it to bp, but my aunts are in town and i really think they shoudl be included” and if she complains, just offer to pay for their $40 meals or whatever. I mean, she shouldn’t make such a big deal out of it, that’s for sure.

While I get that she wants to take care of it for you, I defintiely think you should have a say, too. My Mother-In-Law wanted a certain restaurant and ran it by us….and we didn’t like it. So we picked a different one, ran the budget by her, and got the OK.

Our Rehearsal Dinner was finalized about 5-6 weeks in advance. At least time-wise. We picked out the menu 2 weeks in advance. It was buffet so everyone had plenty to choose from. People asked me where/what time though, and I sent out invitations with MIL’s address on them and “RSVP regrets to…” to her phone number.

I don’t think there’s any harm in at least emailing or contacting everyone who WILL be invited (get the invite list straight with her, first) and let them know where it is and when. Plus, doesn’t the restuarant need to know a couple weeks in advance how many people will be there? Ours needed a definite head count.

Post # 7
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Within a couple of weeks I’d say. If she needs the dinner choice by 2 weeks in advance, she should mail them out at 4 weeks I’d say and give people 2 weeks to respond/her to receive. Otherwise, she could just choose or call them. AFter all, if she wnats to claim responsibility for it, that’s her job! Ha!

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