- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2015
Ok guys, help! I just started seriously considering what to do for the rehearsal dinner, and this is getting out of control. I am getting married about 2 hours away from where I live; all of our friends live scattered across our region, so most people will also be traveling approximately that amount of time (give or take) to get to the wedding. That being said, all of my family will be flying in from out of town. We are only going to invite ~100 guests, and I honestly don’t expect more than 75-85 to attend.
If we invite bridal party and dates, as well as all out of town family, the rehearsal dinner will be 40 people or more. That is huge. That is as many people as I originally wanted at the wedding. I do not want that. I don’t even want to think about the expense that would be; there is nobody’s home we could host at, we would have to do it at a restaurant or other event space.
What I’d love to do is just invite the people who are attending the actual rehearsal to the rehearsal dinner. Meanwhile, I’ll be happy to coordinate other guests and set them up with a reservation at a restaurant with a great bar so they won’t feel “homeless” during the day while we rehearse/ have the official rehearsal dinner. They can attend or not, depending on what they’ve got going on. Then, the rehearsal crew can head over to the bar and enjoy a few drinks with the crowd before resting up for the big day. All of the out of town guests are planning on staying in the area for a bit, so I’ll get plenty of time to visit with them even aside from the day of the rehearsal.
My dad’s compromise was to just invite my aunts and uncles and leave out the cousins who will be traveling with them… Which is fine, but then there would be nobody my age attending, and it would basically turn into a reunion for my dad and his siblings and their spouses, plus my fiance’s parents. The families would be incredibly unbalanced as well; 14 people from my side of the family, 3 from my fiance’s (his family is much smaller). FILs are paying for this event (and we are on a limited budget), so it seems really weird to basically turn it into a family reunion for my dad’s side.
Would it be incredibly rude to keep the rehearsal dinner limited to our parents, bridal party (there are only 2 people in the bridal party!), officiant, and their dates? We’d have about 10 or 12 people attending at that point. I don’t want anyone to feel insulted or left out, but I just can’t wrap my head around having/ paying for 40 people at the rehearsal.