Post # 1
I’m new to weddingbee 🙂
Anyway, my fi’s mom decided that for the rehearsal dinner, she’s giving us a budget of $1,000 and we have to plan it ourselves, which im completely okay with, and very greatful for! she said the only stipulation is that she wants her sisters and their husbands to be invited to the rehearsal dinner.
I have a very large family, with lots of aunts and uncles.. and now i feel like if we invite my fi’s aunts from his mother’s side, we also have to invite his aunts & uncles from his dad’s site, and all of my mine.. this would add about 18 people to our guest list, and that puts us wayy over budget with a total of 50 guests. Our wedding is only 120 guests! I feel like it would be a mini wedding, not really what i thought of when i thought of our rehearsal dinner
I really want to keep the rehearsal small, just immediate family and the people in the wedding party .. especially since we’ll be doing party gifts and all at this time. Plus, i want to use it as an additional way to thank the wedding party and parents who were involved in the planning. The only problem is, his mom really wants her sister’s there, and i can’t JUST invite them without everryyyone else, i feel that that’s just rude!
I was thinking about keeping the rehearsal dinner to just immediate family and the wedding party, then having an “after party” with all of our out of town guests at the hotel they’re all staying at .. they have a really nice bar there and we could all hang out for a little afterwards.. but other than that, not sure what to do.
Any advice would be really appreciated!!!
Post # 3
If she is paying I think it is okay for her sisters to come and no one from your side…It’s not like they’ll know. And it wasn’t YOUR decision. Whenever someone asks about the rehearsal dinner just emphasize that it is the FMIL’s thing.
Post # 4
Did you talk to your Future Mother-In-Law yet? Maybe if you just tell her your concerns, she will understand that it isn’t really fair for her sisters and their husbands to come without your fam, but with your fam it is too many people!
I like your idea about the after party as a compromise. If Future Mother-In-Law wants to be rude and take back the $1000, I think it would be worth it to have the small dinner that YOU want.
Post # 5
I would just go ahead and have FI’s relatives come and not yours. You can still do the afterparty. The rehersal dinner is a minor part of the wedding. The main part is the fact that you are getting married! This will probably happen for myself as well since adding my aunt, uncles, and adult cousins would increase the numbers greatly.
Post # 6
agreed, Hoosier! I think it’s important to to enjoy the members of your wedding parties and your families on this night … more important than $1,000. Talk to her, and if she doesn’t come around about the extra invitees, politely decline and host a no-frills, intimate dinner with your inner circles!
Post # 7
My FI’s mom asked if her out of town sister could join us at the rehersal dinner. I am not inviting any of my aunts or uncles…
Post # 8
We are in a similar situation — my Future Mother-In-Law gave us a budget and told us to pick the place, and then both sides want all the extended family to come to the rehearsal dinner! We’re thinking of catering in food at the church afterwards so that everyone feels included & we’re still within budget. You can always head out for drinks with just your bridal party afterwards. Just an indea!
Post # 9
Just talk to her about & if nothing changes then you can always meet up with the rest of the family afterwards. If I were your aunt or uncle I would understand if I weren’t invited, but that’s just me.
Post # 10
cvbee seems to have hit the nail on the head. This is a problem I think many brides can empathize with…the strings attached to accepting gifts of money for wedding planning. :s
Post # 11
I would talk to her with your Fiance on board, and explain to her the situation. Let her know your concerns with inviting only a select few and what you guys prefer. She is paying for it, but it is still your event