(Closed) Rehearsal dinner question….

posted 7 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
2755 posts
Sugar bee

The rehearsal dinner is supposed to be a thank you to your wedding party and family. Traditionally, the groom’s family hosts/pays, but I’ve seen them held by the bride’s family and the couple themselves. But I’ve never heard of one where guests were expected to bring their own food AND clean up afterward – you’re right, it definitely is rude and you’re probably going to disgruntle more than one of your closest friends and family by doing it. Your Fiance might not see the big deal, but maybe try and convince him it’d be better to either cook/buy all the food yourselves, find a cheap caterer OR get a fun restaurant to cater. We have a local BBQ place that is so tasty and they even let you rent a BBQ truck and come to an event wherever you have it to serve food. Really laid back!

Post # 4
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Hmm, this really depends on the people invited…are they all pretty relaxed? WOuld they embrace this idea at all? And are you going for a more formal meet and greet situation or a more of a chilled out get together?

If you have a few out of towners, how are they going to prepare food? Plus will they have their own transport or be lugging plates of food into a taxi?


Post # 5
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Agreed – the Rehearsal Dinner is supposed to be cost-free to those who have had an integral part in making your special day just that (special). It is a huge etiquette no-no to have them bring anything, pay for anything (although I think an exception to this is alcohol – I think beyond a drink or two, you can have your guests purchase beyond that) or clean anything up. I think it’s more important to be creative with the money that you have to throw this for your guests.

Post # 6
5271 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I don’t think a potluck is the way to go – like the above poster said, the Rehearsal Dinner is a thank you to family & your Wedding Party.

However, I have seen some super fun & awesome RDs that had pizza, or BBQ – very casual. I agree w/ your Fiance, that the Rehearsal Dinner can be a casual affair, so no need for much decorating. But you should provide tablecloths, plates, cups, utensils, etc. 

It is totally normal to keep it light, just enjoying time with your family & friends before the big day.

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