(Closed) Rehearsal Dinner Question Please Help

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Our rehersal dinner is just the wedding party, grandparents, and the readers in our ceremony. FI’s parents are paying for it and that’s what we all decided on. It just made sense for us to have just the people actually in the ceremony at the reherseal dinner. It might get pricey if you had all out of town guests out to dinner. I would say just immediate family and those in the wedding party.

Post # 4
Member
2397 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I totally hear you on this.  We orignally wanted to invite Out of Town guests.  My aunt may be coming from out of town, however, we wouldn’t be inviting FI’s aunts and uncles since they live here.  Probably not fair.

We’re also having a lot of friends come in from other states, so we just can’t bring all Out of Town guests in for the rehearsal dinner.  We’re not paying for the dinner, FI’s dad wants to pay as a gift.  They don’t have a ton of money, and I’d feel guilty giving them a 40+ guest list.

Keeping all of this in mind, we’ve decided to just invite anyone who is involved with the wedding rehearsal (bridal party, ring bearer/flower girl and parents, readers, priest, etc) as well as immediate family. 

Post # 6
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

We were just having this conversation tonight too.  I don’t know what to do because everyone says you are supposed to invite Out of Town guests but I feel like that is just wayyyy too much and would be like another wedding also.  I really think it will end up just being the wedding party, readers, and immediate family.  Even with just that we are already at 40 people.  Ahhh!!

Post # 7
Member
695 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I know…it’s such a hard call!!! We’re still wavering. All of FI’s friends/fam are from Out of Town and about half mine are. It would seem so weird to me to invite only half of my fam but exclude the other half. We may just do wedding party + a couple of closer relatives (e.g. Grandmother) and then invite people to join us later in the evening at a bar or something for cocktails/visiting. But we still have to talk it out 🙂

Post # 8
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We are throwing the Rehearsal Dinner as parents of the groom.  What I’ve decided to do is wait and see who is conmitted to coming to the ceremony (out of town) and then reward them (so to speak) with an invitation to the Rehearsal Dinner, up to a certain ephemeral number… known only to me:-)  The immediate wedding party musicians and officiant of course,are invited as a matter of course.  By the last shower date, I’ll know who to invite by word of mouth- the wedding part yall got beautiful invitations.  Our Rehearsal Dinner will run about $30 per person, and I’m not going to pay for no shows.  However, if a family member is paying $700 to fly to the ceremony and an extra $500 on wedding gifts, then I will absolutely doggone well feed them-  and provide them with lodging as well.  Plan it ahead… so that those who are invited at the last minute see it as an honor.  It is.  It’s a very private and privileged place to be in a wedding.  It shouldn’t be an “everybody” kind of thing.

Post # 9
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Forgive the misspellings. Red wine:-)

Post # 10
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

yeah, we definitely had this problem.  So most of FI’s family is out of town, so at that point, we just invited the few in town as well.  Most of my family is in town, but we decided NOT to invite them to the rehearsal.  It became an issue of size.  My family is SO much larger than his, so inviting everyone would have added 70+ people to rehearsal dinner.  My mom picked her closest sister to invite, though she has another wedding to go to the night before, so it will mostly be his family and some close friends (and the wedding party)

Post # 11
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We had this discussion just last weekend and we decided that we want to see everyone from out of town so we’re going to have a BBQ! All food will be purchased from Costco in massive quantities and it’ll be super low-key and fun 🙂

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