(Closed) Rehearsal Dinner Stress, help!

posted 7 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
4824 posts
Honey bee

You know how you do it?

Invite ONLY those in the wedding and their SOs. That is it.

If your dad wants all OTT guests invited tell him to host them at the hotel with a happy hour at the same time. 


Post # 4
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

PP – that’s exactly what we’re doing! It’s helping to limit the numbers, but we’re still around 40 for the rehearsal dinner between 5 BMs with dates, 5 GMs with dates, 2 flower girls and parents, ring bearer and parents, officiant and wife, OUR parents, etc etc etc. It’s what I would recommend, too. We’ll probably have little impromptu family get-togethers after that – my side at my mom’s house, and his side wherever they want to meet up.

Post # 7
4824 posts
Honey bee

@Krissymissy121: Once you include your demands (aunts uncles) he’s allowed to include his… make it easy. only those involved.

You can alway choose a location after the rehersal that is “non hosted” for people to meet at.

Post # 9
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We’re just inviting our bridal party and our immediate family, no dates.  I think drinks and dessert after would be a good solution.

Post # 10
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

yeah I thought the DR was only for peeps in the wedding and their dates… Im making my the “kids wedding” because Im not allowing kids at my real wedding =)

Post # 11
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I have a similar situation. For us, 80%+ of our guests qualify as “out of town guests.” AND, I want to be conscientious of my FFIL’s pocketbook. (We also still have 40 on the guest lest for the rehearsal dinner!)

My solution? I made the rehearsal dinner a late afternoon meal immediately following our 2:30pm rehearsal. I’m guessing it will go from 3:30-7:00 (which will also work well since we are on the west coast and a lot of people will be hungry earlier due to their time changes…)

AFTERWARDS (7-9?), my parents are hosting a “welcome reception” for all of the out of town guests at the condo they’re renting for the week. They’ll serve wine, beer, and apps and anyone that would like to come will be welcome.

Post # 12
46421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You do not have to invite all the Out of Town guests to the rehearsal dinner.

The rehearsal dinner is for the wedding party, their SO’s, parents, grandparents, siblings etc, so these people can meet and socialize before the wedding and to show appreciation to the wedding party for their time.

Post # 13
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I had a similar concern.  Except that it was my fiance’s parents that wanted to huge amount of people and they were paying, so I didn’t stress as much.  Just tell your dad that the rehearsal dinner is really just traditionally the wedding party and their guests.  Afterall, it’s something after the “rehearsal”, which is for the wedding party.  I would argue that it’s going against etiquette by expecting your fiance’s family to pay for a bunch of out of town guests that aren’t even in the wedding party.  The casual drinks and dessert is a great solution!

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