(Closed) Rehearsal Dinner the day after Rehearsal?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Keep the rehearsal dinner the same day as the ceremony rehearsal?

    Same day

    Spend time with out of towners - have dinner a day after

    Either works!

  • Post # 2
    4904 posts
    Honey bee

    Please don’t make this several events. 

    The rehearsal dinner is to thank your wedding party for taking time out of their schedule to rehearse for your wedding.  You can invite out-of-towners, but that is NOT the intent of the dinner.  You should have a dinner (or rather meal if not at dinner time) immediately following the rehearsal.  

    So I would say either

    1.  Skip the rehearsal altogether or do a very brief one immediately before the wedding the day of.  Walking in a straight line and doing a rundown of the order is not that hard. 

    2.  Skip a formal rehearsal at the venue and do a mock rehearsal somewhere else the Friday night.  Again, walking in a straight line and doing a rundown of the order can really happen anywhere.

    3.  Have your rehearsal and dinner on the Wednesday or Thursday and then if your Future Mother-In-Law wants to host an out-of-towner BBQ for her family seperate from wedding festivities such that your wedding party is not obligated to attend (or possibly even you), then she can have at it.

    Post # 3
    1639 posts
    Bumble bee

    I went to a wedding as an out of town guest. The rehearsal and rehearsal dinner was on a Thursday. The groom’s family hosted the out of towners for a BBQ on Friday evening. Only the groom and his family were there, the bride and her family weren’t. The wedding was on a Saturday. To make it easy on the bridal party, I would do the rehearsal dinner right after the rehearsal. It doesn’t need to be fancy. Then your Mother-In-Law can have a welcome type party on Friday for the out of towners. The bridal party doesn’t have to attend.

    Post # 4
    47423 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Are any of the wedding party OOT’s? If they are, I would skip the rehearsal on Thursday (or the two of you could go on your own), do a quick run through before dinner on the Friday for the benefit of the wedding party, then have dinner.

    A rehearsal is so unnecessary that I can’t see asking Out of Town wedding party members to come in a day early.


    Post # 6
    1757 posts
    Buzzing bee

    nope, I’m not attending 3 days worth of wedding activities

    Post # 7
    3228 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    If someone misses the rehearsal it’s not a huge deal. Have your Maid/Matron of Honor talk them through it. Have the dinner the same day as the rehearsal. 

    Post # 8
    9262 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    View original reply
    samlynn13 :  Yep, what everyone else said. It’s lovely that your Future Mother-In-Law is thinking of the OOTers, but it would be crappy to accommodate them at the expense of your wedding party. The rehearsal dinner should be as soon as possible after the rehearsal — definitely the same day. 

    Post # 9
    931 posts
    Busy bee

    I agree with others. If you feel like a rehearsal is needed I would proceed with original plans or even go casual and provide some pizza and refreshments after the rehearsal. Have a welcome dinner Friday night for the family coming in that the bridal party is not required to attend. Although, it sounds like you really wanna relax the night before the wedding so you could have your Fiance entertain the family while you have a night in.

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