(Closed) rehearsal dinner v. mother in law

posted 7 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I am so sorry. I just had to laugh. I know it isn’t funny, but I can just imagine her trying so hard to make everything just perfect, and everyone else trying really hard to compliment her.

If I were you, I would suggest that although you appreciate her offer, you don’t want her to have to do so much work. Let her know that this is a special time for her too, and that if she wants to contribute, maybe she would want to contribute what she would have spent on the meal to a nice dinner at a restaurant instead.

Post # 4
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Or perhaps have her do a trial run with just you and your Fiance and her and his immediate family.  Then leave it up to them to be honest with her.

Post # 5
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I agree with both PPs, try taking the “i want you to be able to relax before the wedding and cooking for the rehearsal dinner would just be too stressful for anyone!” route first. And if she disagrees, I think it would be better not to offend her and just allow her to do the cooking, maybe it’ll make for a really funny memory for everyone to look back on. But if she does do the cooking, definitely convince her to do a test run to “perfect” her menu beforehand.  I always vote for keeping (future) MILs as content and placated as possible!

Post # 6
Member
46333 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would tell her that as much as we appreciated the offer, we wanted her to be free to enjoy the rehearsal and visit with the bridal party and any family who are attending.

I would ask my Fiance, her son,to have the discussion with his parents re whether they still wanted to host a rehearsal dinner. He should make it clear that you are open to a range of meals from casual bar-b -que to catered dinner.

Post # 7
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

OMGoodness!! This is HARD!!!!!!! But you’ve got some great suggeestions here!!

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