Post # 1
FI’s family is big (parents, 3 siblings, 3 nieces, 2 sets of living grandparents, 26 aunts and uncles and countless cousins) while my family is really small (only one parent, one sibling, an aunt and uncle, three cousins and three second cousins).
I know rehearsal dinners can be pretty much whatever people make of it, but I only wanted it to be people at the rehearsal: our parents, siblings, his grandparents, my one aunt (she’s my godmother and being walked down the aisle as if she were a grandparent), her son that’s walking her down the aisle, our attendants, readers, and officiant.
My mom says that it is horrible that I’m including everyone in our family except one uncle and his 2 daughters and their kids (my second cousins) and that they should be invited too. My problem with that is that they’re not part of the rehearsal and I don’t think they should they be there?. And I also think it’s rude that I would be inviting my second cousins to the rehearsal dinner, while only immediate members of Fiance’s family are invited. My mom contends that because our family is so small the remaining Uncle etc.. .should be considered “immediate family.”
Am I being ridiculous here? Or do you think it would be weird if my entire family was there while only his immediate family? All opinions welcome : )
Post # 3
I think you are right by being consistent and treating each family fairly. I think what you are planning is fine (and wonderful!).
Post # 4
I actually understand 100%. My family is very small compared to his and we had the same type of issue during the Engagement Part (and now … the Rehearsal Dinner). Its very uncomfortable for my family to be small and have his overpowering (and loud) family take over everything. (in other words, its almost as if my family can’t even get a word out!)
So, because of the engagement party – I put stipulations on the Rehearsal dinner. I heard some flack from my Mother-In-Law, but I didn’t care. It took about 1 yr, but I finally realized, its our wedding and if I don’t want it, it aint happening. lol
Regardless of the feud, we’re getting married and that’s all that matters. 🙂 Hope it works out honey!
Post # 5
I’m understand your situation. I think Rehersal dinner should just be immediate family and wedding party. My Future Mother-In-Law thinks it should be all out-of town guests and family. Basically 70 people or over half the wedding.
I think either way is fine. Sometimes I think we just focus on details that people don’t notice or care about. It will all work out regardless of which way you decide to go.
Post # 6
@AEMalmostK: As long as you are consistent with who is being invited (people involved in the wedding and immediate family) then you’re fine.