(Closed) Rehearsal Dinner when FI’s parents are paying, who does what?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Once you get a final headcount nailed down, you can use this as an opportunity to confirm that they have reserved.

I would restrict the Rehearsal Dinner to immediate family (brothers/sisters/mom/dad) and the wedding party only. This elimates guest jealousy. As for the invites, I’m not even doing a formal invite for ours. Just word of mouth. I’ll probably send out a reminder e-mail the week of.

Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Well as for all of the logistics stuff, I would have your Fiance ask his parents.  As for Out of Town guest, if they are inviting them to the Rehearsal Dinner, then they should include your Out of Town guests too.  Otherwise it would be rude.  I’m not sure if your parents are paying for the wedding, but it would be like you get to invite your family, and your Fi doesn’t get to invite anyone, because youre parents are paying for it.

However, if the majority of your guests are going to Out of Town, from both sides, I think the more reasonable thing to do would be to offer up some options to them as Out of Town guests, like cool places to have dinner, or local attractions.  I am a big supporter of inviting Out of Town guests to the Rehearsal Dinner.  But if that means having a wedding reception the day before the wedding, I would try to show my appreciation for their extra efforts to come, in a different way.

Post # 5
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

My husband and I got to pick out the restaurant and make the guest list for our rehearsal dinner. My Mother-In-Law took care of everything else.  I really wanted a hand in the invites and such, but since it kept her occupied and not messing with the wedding, I just let her do it her way.  There were MANY things that I would have changed if I had some say in it!  Anyway, we did not have a whole lot of Out of Town guest.  We invited only those people directly involved with the ceremony and their SO/children and the grandparents. 

Post # 6
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Let me just say one thing about the Out of Town guests getting an invite to the Rehearsal Dinner – for a wedding I attended earlier this month, my friend and I were Out of Town guests, as were a bunch of our other friends from college invited to the wedding. Three of them were GMs but the rest were just guests. There were about 15 Out of Town guests who were friends of ours that got invited to the Rehearsal Dinner and we didn’t and we thought it was weird and were a little put off by it. I mean, I didn’t expect to be invited to it, but when I found out that so many others were I was a little offended. So, as far as Out of Town guests go, either go all or nothing (by "nothing" I mean family) because it kind of made me and my friend feel like we were 2nd class guests.

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