(Closed) Rehearsal dinner – who are included

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

We’re also including dates of the bridal party, grandparents and our minister. 

Post # 4
Member
2216 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m just doing the parents and anyone with a role in the wedding, ie: bridal party, readers, ushers, and grandparents.  We have a lot of out of town guests coming in, but the budget does not allow us to have a huge rehearsal dinner.

ETA: With their dates of course 🙂

Post # 5
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee

It varies greatly from person to person…

For mine, we are inviting the following:

– Wedding Party plus spouses/significant others
– Parents of the Bride and Groom
– Grandparents of the Bride and Groom
– Out of town family and out of town close friends

All in all, about 40 guests are invited (200 guests are invited to the wedding).

Post # 7
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee

Parents, bridal party and their SO.

Post # 8
Member
13067 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Bridal party, their dates, parents, grandparents, readers, officiant and his wife, flower girl, and her parents.  I think we have 32 people total.

Post # 9
Member
3000 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Immediate family on both sides

Bridal Party + their dates

Grandparents

Ceremony reader (FI’s aunt, since the others are in the bridal party)

 

I don’t think there’s a right or wrong for who to invite, just depends on your budget, travel plans for your guests, space of the dinner venue, etc.

Post # 11
Member
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

In my experience it is supposed to be those actually rehearsing (wedding party, readers, parents, ushers, etc). And then any out of town family that will be around and would likely have no where to go for dinner.

My FIL’s are planning it and I sent them a list and it was 90 people!  Some I know we can take off because they aren’t coming in until the morning of the wedding so won’t be around the night before. Others, FIL’s invited a couple aunts/uncles/cousins who live locally so no one felt left out I guess. Not sure why. Most of our Aunts/Uncles/Cousins are Out of town except for a few. I didn’t think it was necessary to invite them, especially with our numbers as crazy as they are But I can understand FIL’s not wanting anyone to feel excluded.

Post # 12
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

To me, it is everyone participating in the wedding.  Since grandparents are a part of our processional, they are invited too.  My FI’s mother invited his aunt and uncle to the rehearsal, but have absolutely nothing to do with the wedding.  Not sure what the FI’s mother was thinking since I sent out the invites for the rehearsal.  I also heard that it was nice to invite guests who are traveling, like a welcome dinner.  Needless to say that FI’s aunt and uncle live 20 minutes away from us.

Post # 13
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We have a big bridal party (25 plus 4 parents) so we are only hosting them.  It’s on a Wednesday night, so we are actually not doing anything fancy, just dinner at my parent’s house after the church rehearsal.  Inviting significant others would be too much to handle for such a big bridal party, so I nixed that idea.

Post # 14
Member
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Our rehearsal dinner got way to big (70 people) and I’m not thrilled about it. I was hoping it would be more intimate especially since we are giving out gifts and obviously don’t hve something for everyone.

Proper etiquette would dictate that anyone rehearsing must be invited- this included the wedding party, parents, ushers, ring bearer, etc.Most people also chose to include other immediate family like grandparents, siblings, etc.

This is optional but many brides do also invite guests from out of town who will be around for the rehearsal. These people have made a great effort and traveled to be there for you, and likely do not know the area to find somewhere to eat or do not have any other place to go that evening. We are inviting all out of town guests that we know will be in town before the wedding.

The issue this created for us is that the majority of our cousins and aunts/uncles are out of town with the exception of one aunt/uncle and a few cousins. FIL’s (who are planning the rehearsal) didn’t want to exclude the local people since they are of the same relationship to us as the out of town people. Hence how our numbers got so big!

Sigh.

Post # 15
Member
813 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Ours will be our bridal party (10 people) plus the two of us, our parents, and one member of our bridal party has a significant other, so they are coming. Total of 18 people.

If we did “out of town” guests as well, we would have the entire wedding coming! So we are keeping it small!

 

Post # 16
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We held our wedding at an old family farmhouse, where members of our family were also staying.  For the rehearsal, we invited everyone who was involved in the wedding (readers, singer, etc) and their immediate families, our mothers (duh!), and everyone who was staying at the house (the rehearsal was at the house).  There was also one of DH’s friends who came alone and knew no one, so we invited him as well so he wouldn’t have to have a lonely dinner alone.  I think we had 32.  Because basically everyone traveled, we couldn’t invite all out of towners as that would be like having 2 receptions.  Our guests were all staying at the same hotel, so after we cleaned up from dinner (we ordered trays of food from a nearby restaurant, and used disposable plates, etc.), we went to the hotel with lots of wine and shared some drinks and laughs with people there.  It worked out really well.

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