Post # 1
Member
407 posts
Helper bee
This may be a stupid question, but here we go…
Fiance and I want a super casual rehearsal dinner (which we’re paying for ourselves at the current moment – no one has offered to host/pay) because our wedding is semi-formal. So, to save money we were going to rent the club house at my mom’s condo development and have pizza, sides, beer, and so on. The problem is that our rehearsal dinner guest list is huge and the club house will only accomodate 25-30. (This is a space issue). So, I’m wondering if it’s really necessary to invite all of these people…
– My cousin is a bridesmaid. Do we have to invite my aunt, uncle, and her brother, too? (I feel bad asking, but no one else’s parents will be there but ours).
– Our out-of-town guests, which include my other aunt and uncle (I feel like I can’t invite one set without inviting the other). If so, my aunts and uncles from my mom’s side would be there, but none of FI’s would. Also, my grandparents are Out of Town.
– My other grandpa and his wife. My grandpa is paying for the reception, so I feel I should invite him to the rehearsal, right?
– FI’s step-brother who is Out of Town and he rarely sees. I’m not even sure he’ll come to the wedding.
What would you do?
Post # 3
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
Immediate family,
Those in the wedding and SO’s
Any grandparents (especially the one paying)
I dont think you need to invite parents of your cousin etc. Or Out of Town guests (alhtough some people do this, its not required)
Post # 4
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
We did:
Wedding party and their partners
Flower girl and her family
MC and his family
Our parents
Our siblings and their partners
Our grandparents
Turned out to be around 30. I would say that your cousin BMs parents don’t need to be invited. But you should ask your parents to guage their reaction…
Post # 5
Member
717 posts
Busy bee
I would say the bridal party and their +1’s and any one who is going to be in the ceremony. I don’t think it’s necessary to invite everyone, you’re already hosting them at the wedding. As for Out of Town guests, I’m sure they can occupy themselves for a night
Post # 6
Member
1748 posts
Bumble bee
I am hoping to do:
Both immediate familys
Everyone in wedding party + so’s
Grandparents (also the officiant)
Post # 7
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
I wouldn’t invite the step brother. I would definetly invite the grandpa who’s paying, immediate family and bridal party and if you have the space/budget invite the Out of Town guests. And I wouldn’t invite the cousin’s parents, either. They are already being hosted at the wedding, no one should be offended about the rehearsal dinner.
Post # 8
Member
9495 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
@futuremrsndl: I would invite at least the bridal party and your parents/immediate family and any else who you feel is close to you (relative wise–sounds like maybe grandparents for you?).
If I invited every out of town guest half my wedding would be there.
Oh, I am planning on about 25 people.
Post # 9
Member
12955 posts
Honey Beekeeper
We invited our bridal party, immediate family, grandparents, the flower girl and her parents, the readers, and our officiant (my godfather). Plus everyone’s dates. For us, it ended up around 35 people.
Post # 10
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@futuremrsndl: Typically it’s immediate family, the bridal party, and out of town guests. If you cannot swing it, then I would cut in this fashion:
1) Cut out the out-of-town guests. If they ask let them know you had a *small* rehearsal dinner.
2) Cut out non-immediate family that is not in the bridal party. Invite bride, groom, parents of bridal couple, siblings of bridal couple, and bridal party. If grandpa is paying he and his spouse are invited. The cousin in your bridal party can be invited without the rest of her family.
Post # 11
Member
11343 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
We invited our parents, my one aunt who traveled with my parents and is like a second mom to me, our bridal party and their spouses, our officiant and his wife, and all of our musicians and singers and their spouses.
Because of the very large group we already had, we did not invite our Out of Town guests, especially since our wedding was a semi-destination wedding that was long distance for everyone in both of our families.
Post # 13
Member
1748 posts
Bumble bee
I don’t see why we’d involve Out of Town guests in the rehearsal dinner when they’re there for the wedding the following day. I want the rehearsal dinner to be everyone involved in the rehearsal and wedding. Most of my family and half of FI’s are out of town, so it would be like “wedding take 1”. Also it gets more complicated with FI’s parents being divorced and his dad wanting only his side of the family to come, and none of his mom’s or mine. Need to draw the line!
Post # 14
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
@futuremrsndl: I had a similar issue where the rehersal dinner was getting out of hand (80-90% of guests are OOT) and we would have had a real issue.
In the end I told my parents (who want to host this) that it will be Immediate Family and Bridal Party + Spouses/Guests only.
This worked out to be:
My Parents, His Parents
My 2 Grandmothers (only grandparents left from both sides)
His Brother + Wife + Daughter (Flower Girl)
My Brother and Sister +1 each
Ring Bearer and his parents
His other Brother + Husband if they come into town early
2 BMs + Husbands
2 Groomsmen + Wives
Total: 24-26, down from the original 150+ when we included Out of Town
Post # 15
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
Since you’re paying, I’d invite wedding party, immediate family, & VIP (close friends, grandparents)
We’re also including all Out of Town guests and finding a large enough venue isn’t easy (or cheap!). . .but in-laws are paying and payer gets what they want in my book.
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