(Closed) Rehearsal dinner who to invite.

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Who to invite
    Only the Wedding Party : (4 votes)
    13 %
    Wedding Party and Immediate Family : (22 votes)
    73 %
    Everyone but only pay for the wedding party : (0 votes)
    Other (please explain in your post) : (4 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3078 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Thank you for posting this!  My wedding isn’t a destination wedding, it’s local, but my step-mom wants to invite her entire family!  I’m not having it.  I don’t know if I should just have people involved in the wedding or out of town folks too.

    Post # 4
    Member
    8738 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I had a destination wedding for 99% of our guests.

    Mother-In-Law was the only one who lived in the area.

    We had our Rehearsal Dinner at MIL’s house and had it catered. We invited everyone to both the Rehearsal Dinner and the day after the wedding Brunch.

    They were traveling from so far to come to our wedding, we felt we needed to provide more than one event/meal.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2965 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I voted for wedding party and immediate family although I’m not doing that because we are having the rehearsal dinner immediately following the rehearsal at the ceremony space which is my parents home so I dont want all my guests to see how the wedding is going to go the day before the wedding. But since yours is a Destination Wedding I would say what I voted for.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1568 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I voted “other” b/c I think you should invite everyone since they are traveling for your wedding. I would feel bad if I didn’t when all these people are paying abundant amounts of money to be there for your big day.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1252 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I voted other because I think for a destination wedding you need to invite and pay for everyone who is traveling to be there.  To cut costs perhaps do something more casual like a barbeque or a happy hour type of event later in the evening. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    3886 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I believe the proper etiquette is to invite and pay for everyone who travels, which is probably not the answer you want to hear, but it’s the polite way to do it. It’s very impolite to have a rehearsal dinner but expect any of the guests you invite to pay their own way, so I’d scratch that option right from the start.

    If you want to keep expenses down, you may want to think about having a rehearsal luncheon— have the bridal party go rehearse in the morning, and invite everyone for lunch.  Lunch is cheaper, especially on the bartab aspect, and your budget will go further, plus you may have a larger number of people who decline your invite in favor of spending the day at the beach (always their choice— don’t feel hurt if you invite everyone and half decline).

    You may also want to ask the host hotel (assuming all the guests are staying in one place) if they do any welcome receptions or happy hour as part of the guest room rate. You can always tie your rehearsal event into whatever the guests are already getting by paying for their rooms (our host hotel does a nightly free happy hour so we’re getting a semi-private slice of the room blocked off and we’re having some light catering done, but we’ll have no bartab to pay for, amen).  If that doesn’t work, then a local restaurant would be a fine choice; ask about limited/special menus which help control your costs and also help the restaurant staff get that order out fast.

    Post # 9
    Member
    4193 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    Etiquette (Emily Post) says if you have the budget for Out of Town guests, it’s a nice gesture to invite them, but not required. Wedding party and immediate family are your “must” invites.

    Since you’d like to include more of your guests, a welcome/rehearsal brunch or lunch on Saturday would be nice, or some sort of happy hour. If it’s not in your budget, don’t feel obligated to have a sit-down dinner- provide your guests with info on area restaurants.

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