Post # 1
i feel like i have seen posts from other bees experiencing what i am experiencing, but i just feel like i have to vent anyway!
my Future Mother-In-Law has been trying to add a billion people to my guest list since day one, even though i have been trying to have a small/intimate wedding since day one…
just now, the Future Mother-In-Law called to tell me that the rehearsal dinner has a max 50 person limit and she was calling to tell me that some people have to go off the list. She actually asked me if we could decrease the number of groomsmen and bridesmaids in half (from 6 to 3 on each side), and i was said, ummm, i think we are a few months too late for that!! (wedding is this summer)
so she decided that we cannot invite the significant others (husbands, wives, live-in gf/bf) of the wedding party because she has to have room for her family and friends. so i feel super bad because what are the significant others going to do for the whole night? most are traveling from out-of-town. AND she is also not even going to send formal invitations because she finds it unnecessary and believes calling will suffice. thus i have to do the awkward notification that the significant others have to wait for us!
thanks for listening (reading).
Post # 3
Aw, that’s sad! I’m sorry. It’s definitely frustrating when they try to add a lot of people and then on their responsibility keep the costs down. I hope it works out!
Post # 4
No, no, no, no, no. It’s not acceptable to leave your wedding party’s SOs off of the guest list. How rude. If it’s a budget issue, suggest that she choose a less expensive option or offer to cover the extra $$ if need be.
It’s time to have your Fiance intervene so you don’t come off as the “bad guy.” But you (as a couple) have to put your foot/feet down on this one. Good luck.
Post # 4
I know it’s frustrating when expectations aren’t met, but in the middle of all this it’s important to remember that our parents and Future In-Laws aren’t obligated to throw us any wedding/rehearsal dinner, etc. If I were you and it was important to have these people at your Rehearsal Dinner, I would offer to subsidize the cost.
Post # 5
Thanks for the comments.
Capacity of the venue is the limiting factor and I think that cost is secondary and the Future Mother-In-Law seems set on the restaurant. That being said, I do think it is extremely rude to exclude husbands/wives of the wedding party esp when they are traveling out-of-town. And it is very hypocritical of the in-laws who keep insisting that they have to add so-and-so friend to our wedding guest list because they were invited to their kids’ wedding. I mentioned that my fiance and I have always been invited to rehearsal dinners together and Future Mother-In-Law just laughed and said that’s too bad, your wedding party is too large.
Post # 6
Oh wow, you definetly need to have your Fiance intervene on this one, it is YOUR wedding and YOUR rehearsal dinner! I don’t care if she invited the President, the Pope or Elvis, your wedding = your guests when it comes down to the nitty gritty in the amount of people. She needs to be reined in. I can’t believe the gull she has to laugh in your face like that!