Post # 1

Member
1503 posts
Bumble bee
I’m trying to figure out details for our rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. Spouses/SOs of our bridal party are invited to the rehearsal dinner. Do we invite them to the rehearsal too?
Our dinner is very close to our venue, so for people having to drive to our venue, it does seem strange for their spouse to have to drive separately later. But I also feel like SOs would be bored during the rehearsal, and don’t want too many cooks in the kitchen.
I’ve never been involved in a rehearsal dinner before… the only wedding I’ve been in she didn’t have a dinner and I went to the rehearsal alone.
What do people normally do?
Post # 2

Member
671 posts
Busy bee
We had some who came to rehearsal and others just to dinner. Just let your wedding party decide what is easier for each of them
Post # 3

Member
1503 posts
Bumble bee
alleycat1984: But SOs should be invited to the rehearsal as well?
Post # 4

Member
2481 posts
Buzzing bee
What sort of numbers are you looking at here? Because I’d be inclined to invite them to the rehearsal but also offer the option of going directly to the dinner. That way nobody is offended at being left out or feels obliged to go to a rehearsal that doesn’t directly concern them.
Post # 5

Member
46331 posts
Honey Beekeeper
kb7: You don’t need to invite SO’s to the rehearsal, but you can make it known to your wedding party, that the SO’s are welcome to hang out at the rehearsal or meet you at the dinner venue.
Some of them may choose to go somewhere for drink while they wait.
Post # 6

Member
1503 posts
Bumble bee
Steampunkbride: About 30 people, including the SO’s. I’m just wondering when we send out invites for the rehearsal/dinner, do we put their names on it too? I suppose we would. Just don’t want to be clear everyone’s included without making people bored or feel obligated to hang around.
Post # 7

Member
2481 posts
Buzzing bee
It’s difficult because you want the people who need to be at the rehearsal to attend the rehearsal but I suspect I’d not be sending formal invitations out for the rehearsal anyway. Just for the dinner. I’d then speak directly to the rehearsal attendees and make it clear that their SOs are welcome to attend but are equally welcome to just come along to the dinner.
Post # 8

Member
1612 posts
Bumble bee
The rehearsals I’ve been to are usually pretty quick. I see no reason why SOs couldn’t come and watch. Or hang out at the dinner venue.
Post # 9

Member
127 posts
Blushing bee
We are inviting SOs to the rehearsal, but it’s not likely they will come. The weddings my Fiance and I have been in, we never attend the rehearsals together, just the dinner.
Post # 10

Member
1503 posts
Bumble bee
Steampunkbride: This makes sense. Thanks!
Post # 11

Member
5195 posts
Bee Keeper
kb7: Like others have said, I would give SO’s the option of attending the rehearsal + dinner or just meeting their spouse at the dinner.
And absolutely invite the SO’s! Fiance is in SOOO many weddings and the last one we went to… the groom sent out a text saying “Just a reminder – no spouses/dates are allowed to come to the rehearsal dinner”. Ugh – it was just so rude, especially since most people traveled 2+ hours! My options were to sit alone in a hotel room all night or drive up to the wedding (2 hours) alone the next day. Neither were very great :-\
I think the rehearsal’s go by fairly quickly + I’d rather sit and wait for my Fiance then have to drive by myself.
Post # 12

Member
1503 posts
Bumble bee
weatherbug: Yeah we’re definitely inviting them. I just didn’t think it was necessary that they come to the rehearsal, but didn’t want to make it inconvenient for anyone having to drive separate.
Post # 13

Member
2948 posts
Sugar bee
kb7: Just as an FYI as an SO who has attened a rehersal where I wasn’t involved in the wedding, it was actually completely cool on my end. And this was BEFORE I had the toy of my smart phone. I hung out in the back talking with another Girlfriend of one of the groosmen.
Post # 14

Member
1503 posts
Bumble bee
Post # 15

Member
7206 posts
Busy Beekeeper
We just let people know that their SO’s were welcome at the rehearsal and they all brought them because they didn’t want to take two vehicles. The actual rehearsal was under thirty minutes and the SOs just talked amongst themselves.