Post # 1
I am getting married in 2012 and we finally decided on our venue. The dilemma was, we were stuck between two venues, one was completely outside of our budget and one was in the budget so we went with the one we can afford.
There was one aspect of the more expensivee venue that my fiancee and I both loved and wanted to use for our reherseal dinner since we loved it, and could afford it. However, this particular room has a 25 person guest maximum.
If we used it for the rehersal dinner, we could include parents, the bridal party and parents of the flower girls. However, we would not be able to invite guests of the bridal party ( significant others). There are only 3 friends in our bridal party, the rest is family members.
What are your thoughts about significant others of the bridal party being invited to the rehersal dinner. My fiance and I absolutely adore this place and really want it to be part of our wedding however, we do not want to offend people. …
Post # 3
I think you need to invite the spouses/SO of the bridal party if they are married/engaged. It’s the proper thing to do. If you can’t afford to do it there, perhaps just have it at a different place where the budget will allow.
I know you like this place but…
Post # 4
I know it sucks sometimes, but you really do have to invite SOs of the bridal party. The only exception I can see to this would be if you were having such a small wedding that they weren’t even invited the day of.
Post # 5
if they’re married, engaged, or living together, you have to invite the SO. if not, you don’t have to invite them, but your bridal party probably wouldn’t appreciate it. they are spending a ton of money to be in your wedding, after all. find a new place that you can afford.
Post # 6
@MasqueradeMom: agreed. Even if people arent engaged/married. My bf from high school has been dating her boyfriend for 8 years….of course he was invited to our wedding. If he had to stay in the hotel room while she was at the rehearsal dinner her (and his) feelings would have been really hurt. Could you have the wedding there and still have the Rehearsal Dinner somewhere else?
Post # 7
You’re going to get mixed views on this one. I was in the same boat – though it was financial reasons rather than maximum space. Financially we were trying to make it to where the SO could be invited with the bridal party, but we just couldn’t afford it. Some will say you should invite them because even if one is in your wedding, they are a unit (so to speak). And some will say they will understand. So be prepared for mixed views. 🙂
Truth is, I think most will understand considering its a space issue (more than anything). Can you hold the rehearsal dinner somewhere else?? Is it possible? If you CAN do that, then I suggest inviting the SO to dinner. My Fiance and I have been in weddings where the SO’s were not invitied – we weren’t all that thrilled about it, but we also understood (it wasn’t a big deal really). But, since we’re close with our bridal party AND their SO’s – we wanted to make sure they were all invitied. (and I mean spouses, significant others; if they’re living together, they’re invitied. If they are just dating and we’re unsure if “this one will stay” lol then I’m afraid not)
My best suggestion is to talk to your bridal party about it and see how they feel if their SO’s were NOT invited (informing them of the situation). You’ll get feedback on what to do next. Good luck!
Post # 8
I know this is probably not what you want to hear but I think you should invite their SOs. Especially if they are engaged/married. These people are spending quite a bit of money to be part of your day.
Post # 9
What is it about the place that really attracts you? Is it the atmosphere or decor? Or is it the food? I just ask because if it’s just the food, why not ask them to cater the rehearsal dinner and hold it somewhere that can accommodate your wedding party and their spouses/SOs? Personally, I agree with those here who say that the SOs should be included.
Post # 10
Thanks all- It is not a money issue for the rehersal dinner we can afford to invite the SO’s but the space at the place physically will NOT allow more than 25 people.
It is the decor of the place that really attracts us, its an amazing atmosphere. None of the bridal party’s SO’s are steady.. most have been together for less than 1 year if that helps at all….. and none are mariied/engaged/living together.
We probably will end up having it somewhere else unless I can figure out how to add a couple more people to the guest maximum at this place…… I really don’t want to upset people….
Post # 11
@cmkelly831: If they’ve been together for less than a year, then I’d say you’re in the clear! That’s usually the “cut-off” point.
Post # 12
I’m not sure if this applies to you, but if any of them are traveling I feel even more strongly that their SO’s are invited. Otherwise they’ll be left to room service while your party’s going on. Even putting etiquette aside, it would seem odd to me if the celebration of love between you and your beloved required that other people can’t be with their own.
Post # 13
IF they aren’t travelling you could possibly get away with it, but honestly I’d probably find another place.