Post # 32
We were going to pay for it like we did everything, but my Father-In-Law offered to pay. We planned where it was (awesome, local pizza place with local brews), theme (1980’s nerds and prom queens), and he let us invite everyone. It was so much fun. No matter what happens, make sure you and your Fiance have fun.
Post # 33
I definitely don’t think your dad should say anything to your FI’s parents. You wouldn’t wanna start a family issue right before the wedding. I think you should maybe just plan it yourself and maybe tell your parents you are very grateful for all they have done, but that whether or not your FI’s parents pay for the rehearsal is between you guys and them maybe? The key is to try and make sure there are no hard feelings on either end. Who knows, maybe his parents are planning something special or was just going to wait until you planned the dinner and then pick up the bill themselves. Either way, I would let go of tradition on this one, I’m sure they have their reasons and those traditions are really flying out of the window these days. My Fiance and I are paying for everything ourselves. Everything, including bridal shower and bachelor(ette) parties.
(If it is not in your budget to pay for the rehearsal, the next step would be to try and get your fiance to hint to them, subtly, about paying)
Post # 34
@melisandescott: I absolutely agree. Good for you guys.
Post # 35
@mrs.peters.to.be: my husbands parents did it, they wanted to and i said sure. My parents live out of town so it wasnt possible for them to do it anyways.
We just had a small backyard dinner at his parents place. Friends catered it and some other friends of there served the alcohol and helped clean up.
It was great!
[attachment=1637441,203457] [attachment=1637441,203458] [attachment=1637441,203459]
Post # 36
We wanted to pay for the Rehearsal Dinner ourselves. One of the way we wanted to thank everyone for all their hard work, effort and support they shown us in life and wedding planning.
ILs offered to pay many times but we refused!
As is the general consensus I don’t think it’s your father’s place to reach out to them. Or frankly imo anyone’s. There’s still plenty of time left so they may still step up and offer and if not they do not HAVE to.
Post # 37
FI’s parents aren’t offering us anything, and my parents don’t have any money to spare. So everythings on us. Which is fine, except I have no energy left to plan the rehearsal dinner. If it was left up to me, we would end up eating delivered pizza in the church basement. Future Sister-In-Law offered to decorate, and Fiance asked his Mom to look into food options (we’re paying for it, and giving them a budget). It would be awesome if they offered to pay for it too, but the planning is more importatn than the money at this point.
In your situation, I think your Fiance needs to bring it up with his parents. Say we were thinking of one of these restaurants and see if they offer to pay/ help. If they don’t offer, I don’t really see what you can do.
Post # 38
These days, I really don’t think that tradition in paying holds anymore, so you shouldn’t worry about that to guide your thinking.
Initially, we did not plan on having a rehearsal dinner. With FI’s father heard about this, he insisted that we have one and offered to pay for it. This seemed fitting since the vast majority of the attendees would be his family (brothers, sister, etc). If he had not insisted and offered to pay, we wouldn’t have one since it doesn’t really serve a purpose for us.
Post # 39
@mrs.peters.to.be: I think he’s right. They should offer to pay for it. Seems how they haven’t mentioned it, him calling to ask them is a good solution. I think as long as he’s polite, there is no problem.
Post # 41
@missmichigan: thanks! They did a great job!! I was so happy with it!
Post # 42
DH’s parents paid for it….but then again, they paid for a lot of our wedding too because my parents couldn’t do it financially and Darling Husband and I didn’t want to spend a lot of $$ on a reception.
Post # 43
It is extremely inappropriate for your father to consider calling your future in-laws and hint at the rehearsal dinner. If your FI’s parents have not offered, you should pay for it yourselves. It is incredibly ungracious to try and point out or ask others what they should be paying for regardless of what your family have offered to pay.