(Closed) Rehersal dinner etiquette?? What are you doing for yours?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Who is arranging and paying for your rehersal dinner?
    Bride & Groom : (40 votes)
    31 %
    Groom's parents (traditional) : (73 votes)
    56 %
    Bride's parents (non-traditional) : (6 votes)
    5 %
    Other. Please explain your circumstances. : (11 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 32
    Member
    2536 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    We were going to pay for it like we did everything, but my Father-In-Law offered to pay. We planned where it was (awesome, local pizza place with local brews), theme (1980’s nerds and prom queens), and he let us invite everyone. It was so much fun. No matter what happens, make sure you and your Fiance have fun.

    Post # 33
    Member
    373 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I definitely don’t think your dad should say anything to your FI’s parents. You wouldn’t wanna start a family issue right before the wedding. I think you should maybe just plan it yourself and maybe tell your parents you are very grateful for all they have done, but that whether or not your FI’s parents pay for the rehearsal is between you guys and them maybe? The key is to try and make sure there are no hard feelings on either end. Who knows, maybe his parents are planning something special or was just going to wait until you planned the dinner and then pick up the bill themselves. Either way, I would let go of tradition on this one, I’m sure they have their reasons and those traditions are really flying out of the window these days. My Fiance and I are paying for everything ourselves. Everything, including bridal shower and bachelor(ette) parties. 

     

    (If it is not in your budget to pay for the rehearsal, the next step would be to try and get your fiance to hint to them, subtly, about paying)

    Post # 35
    Member
    3148 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    @mrs.peters.to.be: my husbands parents did it, they wanted to and i said sure. My parents live out of town so it wasnt possible for them to do it anyways.

    We just had a small backyard dinner at his parents place. Friends catered it and some other friends of there served the alcohol and helped clean up.

     

    It was great!

    [attachment=1637441,203457] [attachment=1637441,203458] [attachment=1637441,203459]

    Post # 36
    Member
    3525 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We wanted to pay for the Rehearsal Dinner ourselves. One of the way we wanted to thank everyone for all their hard work, effort and support they shown us in life and wedding planning.

    ILs offered to pay many times but we refused!

    As is the general consensus I don’t think it’s your father’s place to reach out to them. Or frankly imo anyone’s. There’s still plenty of time left so they may still step up and offer and if not they do not HAVE to.

    Post # 37
    Member
    488 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    FI’s parents aren’t offering us anything, and my parents don’t have any money to spare.  So everythings on us.  Which is fine, except I have no energy left to plan the rehearsal dinner.  If it was left up to me, we would end up eating delivered pizza in the church basement.  Future Sister-In-Law offered to decorate, and Fiance asked his Mom to look into food options (we’re paying for it, and giving them a budget).  It would be awesome if they offered to pay for it too, but the planning is more importatn than the money at this point.

    In your situation, I think your Fiance needs to bring it up with his parents.  Say we were thinking of one of these restaurants and see if they offer to pay/ help.  If they don’t offer, I don’t really see what you can do.

    Post # 38
    Member
    1068 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    These days, I really don’t think that tradition in paying holds anymore, so you shouldn’t worry about that to guide your thinking.

    Initially, we did not plan on having a rehearsal dinner. With FI’s father heard about this, he insisted that we have one and offered to pay for it. This seemed fitting since the vast majority of the attendees would be his family (brothers, sister, etc). If he had not insisted and offered to pay, we wouldn’t have one since it doesn’t really serve a purpose for us.

    Post # 39
    Member
    860 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @mrs.peters.to.be: I think he’s right.  They should offer to pay for it.  Seems how they haven’t mentioned it, him calling to ask them is a good solution.  I think as long as he’s polite, there is no problem.

    Post # 41
    Member
    3148 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    @missmichigan: thanks! They did a great job!! I was so  happy with it!

    Post # 42
    Member
    4544 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    DH’s parents paid for it….but then again, they paid for a lot of our wedding too because my parents couldn’t do it financially and Darling Husband and I didn’t want to spend a lot of $$ on a reception.

    Post # 43
    Member
    987 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    It is extremely inappropriate for your father to consider calling your future in-laws and hint at the rehearsal dinner.  If your FI’s parents have not offered, you should pay for it yourselves.  It is incredibly ungracious to try and point out or ask others what they should be paying for regardless of what your family have offered to pay. 

    The topic ‘Rehersal dinner etiquette?? What are you doing for yours?’ is closed to new replies.

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