Post # 1
Some of you know my story. Basically, I’ve moved my December wedding to Disney World quite suddenly and my maid of honor may or may not be able to come to my wedding now.
After much deliberation, I’ve decided to write her a letter and include a check for the amount she spent on her dress and shoes. I want to say in this letter that I would love it if she would use the money to come to the wedding (although she could come with my family for free – we basically grew up in each other’s houses), but that if she can’t, I understand and I would love to reimburse her for the amount she spent on her dress and shoes.
Still, I don’t want to make her feel like I’m trying to guilt her into coming. How do I go about saying this tactfully. Is this even the right way to go about it?
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I would not say anything about how you hope she uses the money. I would just send it to her with a note that you’d like to pay her back for the dress she bought and will no longer need. Leave it at that.
Post # 4
Don’t ear mark the money in any way. It’s hers to do with as she sees fit. Maybe that will be to come to your Destination Wedding, but maybe not. It’s her decision.
I also wouldn’t just send her a random letter. I would have a heart to heart conversation with her. I would be put off to get a letter from my BFF with a cheque.
Post # 5
@vitani88: I agree you should phone her instead of write a letter, but I don’t think it’s a terrible thing if you mention it to her that it could potentially help her with travel expenses if she still wanted to come. I’d hate for her to take the cheque as a hint that you were dismissing her from your wedding, you know? Just make sure she knows you still want her to be there.
Post # 6
Definitely agree that you should talk ont he phone/face ot face about it. A letter seems distant to me, for some reason. Its just not an open forum for you two to discuss it and see wheres shes at and what her options are, as far as she sees them. And I also agree that she might somehow take it the wrong way and almost feel like shes being paid not to have her feelings hurt that things didn’t work out! I just think the situation can only be made better with increased open communication :] I hope it works out for you both!